Guy Talk
by bgn
Summary: Conversations between Mick and Josef inspired by the terrific scenes between AO'L and JD. Read them with whatever level of snark you imagine our favorite vamps would voice. Which is probably quite a lot.
1. After Sonata

**After Sonata**

Their third time was in the shower. After that they napped for awhile. Actually, Beth slept and Mick lay watching her and feeling happy. He wasn't exactly uncomfortable but even with the covers off it was far warmer than he was used to. Beth woke up an hour later and kicked Mick out, telling him to go home to his freezer for some real rest. He started to protest but she wouldn't hear it, she said they were taking care of each other in this relationship. He was reluctant to leave her but secretly pleased about her concern for his comfort.

At his apartment he had some blood and hit the freezer. Before he dropped off the thought came to him that if Beth moved in at least they would be in the same apartment instead of across town from each other. Slow down, he thought, you're moving too fast . . .

He woke up earlier than usual but feeling refreshed. It was late afternoon with several hours of daylight remaining. More blood, then a shower, and he thought about seeing Josef. With all that was happening the last few days, Josef hadn't been taking care of business and might have gone to his office early to catch up.

He was at his desk and seemed to welcome an interruption. "I didn't expect you to be so cheerful after that barbecue we attended last night."

Mick felt a pang of guilt at having forgotten the execution so easily but he couldn't stop smiling. Josef picked up on it right away. "Actually, I never expect you to be this cheerful." He studied Mick a moment. "Is Beth also happy and relaxed?"

"Yes, she is." No point in denying what Josef had figured out already.

"It's about time. It must have been a success if . . ."

_Mick flashed back to bed with Beth. After the first time, she offered her blood and he could tell she meant it. God knows he wanted it and with that first sexual frenzy satisfied he had the control to bite her neck gently where her hair would hide the marks. He didn't take much but the blood seemed to go directly to his groin. That and the movements and little sounds of pleasure she made led pretty quickly to round two. After that they talked for awhile, getting comfortable as lovers, relieved that the awkwardness was over. Mick was amazed how easy it was after all that worry. His concern for Beth's safety was valid but his own personal fears had made the whole thing more complicated than it needed to be. But all that was private, just between him and Beth, not to be shared even with Josef. Gotta give him something, though._

. . . if Beth is alive and well."

"The only casualty was a pillow."

"You bit a pillow? Good choice if you're not sure of your control. Did you consider your arm?"

"That was my plan but when the time came the pillow was closer. Have you bitten a pillow?"

"Mick, every vampire who has slept with a human they didn't want to hurt has bitten a pillow or mattress or some type of bedding. There was a girl who had a bunch of throw pillows on her bed and we didn't take time to take them off. One of them was that little tube pillow called a neck roll. Catchy name, don't you think? It fit perfectly between her neck and shoulder. I ruined a lot of neck pillows with her."

"You didn't feed from her?"

"Inner thigh only, which isn't convenient for most positions. She was an actress and didn't want marks on her neck or arms."

"You like actresses, don't you? You told me about Jean Harlow, and Beth mentioned a party with Garbo. Did you love this one?"

"No, but I was fond of her and we had a good time for awhile."

"What happened?"

"The usual. She met someone else. Got married." Josef paused a beat. "Moved to Monaco."

Mick's jaw dropped. "Grace Kelly was your freshie?"

"And one more time when she was Princess Grace. I hadn't seen her since the wedding. Twenty-five years later I got a letter asking me to come and see her. Her secretary announced me as the son of an old friend from her Hollywood days. She gave me her hand and I kissed it. She dismissed the secretary and offered me her hand again, wrist up. I took a sip, we had a nice talk, and I left. She died in the car crash a year later. She was my last princess."

"But not your first."

"Of course not. Europe was littered with princesses for three hundred years after I was turned. But borders were redrawn, countries came and went, and a lot of royal houses died out. The herd was thinned considerably."

"That's a charming analogy."

"But true. So actors and actresses became the new royalty."

"Who else did you have?"

"Well, JFK isn't the only one Marilyn sang 'Happy Birthday' to."

"What about Hepburn?"

"Audrey, yes. Katherine, no."

"Oh, yeah, Audrey had that swan neck."

"Exactly. Katherine had a nice neck, too, but I never tapped it."

"Lauren Bacall?"

"I didn't even try. She was devoted to Bogey."

"I never hear of you with actresses now."

"Not for thirty years. Their lives are too public."

"Like Tierney Taylor."

"Yes. It's not worth the risk. Besides, a lot of actresses now are girls. And I don't mean age – I'm not into jailbait, anyway. A lot of the adults still seem like girls. And I prefer women."

"Why haven't you told me about your Hollywood days until now?"

Josef leaned forward, suddenly serious. "Mick, you hated being a vampire. I wasn't going to taunt you with tales of my famous freshies."

Mick noticed the wording. "You said hated, past tense."

"Because I don't think you hate being a vampire anymore. Maybe you don't love it, but you don't dislike it, do you?"

"Not so much. I enjoyed being human but in that week I came to appreciate the advantages of being a vampire."

"Good. I'm glad I was wrong about you and the cure. I was afraid that after being human again you would hate being a vampire so much it would destroy you."

"I guess it was because I chose to be turned. It was for Beth, and now we're together."

"That's something I was right about. I always thought you just needed to get laid."

"I knew I could count on you to be vulgar about the best sex I've ever had."

"I could have been much cruder than that."

"And you have been. Usually at my expense."

"It takes practice. Natural ability, of course, and then plenty of practice."

They smiled at each other, enjoying the banter.

"So," Josef said, "Best ever, huh? Is it mutual?"

"I think so."

"You want me to find out for sure? I'd be glad to check with Beth."

"Over my undead body."

"I need confirmation. I can't just take your word . . ." Josef's personal cell buzzed. He glanced at the caller ID and grinned. "Hello, Beth."

Mick's eyes went wide and he started making gestures that Josef correctly interpreted to mean 'I'm not here and you haven't talked to me'. Josef knew Mick would be able to hear Beth through the phone.

"I'm fine, how are you? . . . Wonderful, hmm? That's good to know."

"Mick and I worked out some problems."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"So, I was wondering what you think of double-dating."

"Double-dating?"

"Yeah, you and Simone and Mick and me. I thought we might get together sometime."

"Sounds like fun." Josef was so amused watching Mick's reaction that he was barely aware of what he was saying.

"You think Simone would like to?"

"I bet she would. Why don't you call her and you two can set it up. You have her number? . . . Good. What about Mick, has he agreed?"

"Oh, I'm sure he will. Why would he object?"

"Why, indeed?"

"I'll let you go now, Josef."

"Thanks for calling, Beth. See you soon."

Josef ended the call and looked at Mick. "You are so whipped."

"She's already arranging our social calendar. Is this a record?"

"No, but she isn't wasting any time. You don't seem displeased."

"I kind of like it. Wonder what they'll want us to do."

Suddenly Josef looked uneasy. "I should call Simone and give her a heads-up, maybe suggest something."

Mick shook his head. "Sign of weakness. Besides, it's too late. Beth called her two seconds after hanging up."

"This could get ugly."

"How bad can it be? We're friends, they seemed to hit it off, we all like each other."

"I'm not sure why but I'm a little afraid."

"Face it, we're couples now."

"That's it – that's the fear."


	2. Poker Night

**Poker Night**

Josef and Mick were playing cards at Josef's office. The options were limited with only two players so Josef brought up a subject they had thought about lately: "Should we start another poker group?"

"Will anyone want to play with us? The last guys got firebombed."

"That's unlikely to happen again, Mick, and it's very hurtful of you to mention it," Josef said in a mock wounded voice.

"I'm sure that will stop me next time. Guillermo's a good player but he has a regular job with rotating night shifts. It's hard for him to get away."

"Still, working in a morgue is kind of a dream job for a vampire."

"He knows it. G's not planning a career change anytime soon. And Logan won't leave his basement for poker."

"Young vamps today – it's all electronics."

"Yeah, he might be interested if we played online."

"Ryder is out – he's still in South America."

"I thought that Pentagon thing had cooled off."

"It has, he just likes it down there."

"This is pathetic. There must be 400 vampires in L.A. and we can't get together a poker table."

"We're not pathetic, Mick, we're exclusive. But seriously, I think we need more guys. We end up talking about sex all the time."

"It's your favorite subject. That and making money. Besides, we've always talked about sex on poker night. It's a guy thing."

"I thought women talked about sex more than men. How can we be so different if we're all talking, and usually about the same thing?"

"Because it's not together. Men talk more to men and women talk more to women. And men hardly ever talk about sex with women."

"Well, it is more of an opportunity for action than discussion."

"You're certainly a sensitive guy, Josef. I wonder why you are actually successful with women. Wait, I remember now, you pay them."

"I pay to drink their blood. The sex isn't included. And I don't usually sleep with my freshies. But go on with your fascinating theory about men and women and sex."

"Men talk about sex in general but there's an unspoken rule against getting too personal about your partner. For women, sex in the abstract isn't so interesting. They're all about the details. They need to get specific. And so it follows that Beth and Simone have deconstructed every date, analyzed every emotion, dissected every word we ever said, and compared our equipment and technique."

"Equipment-wise we have nothing to worry about."

"Thanks for checking out my package. I've never noticed yours."

"Oh, come on, we were all naked for that midnight swim last week."

"Okay, so there's no problem with equipment. Now, I can't speak for your technique but I don't think mine is lacking."

"I'm sure it's fine but in that area I do have 300 years more experience."

"And in that 300 years how have you not figured out this men-women stuff?"

"Human nature hasn't changed much but talking about everything is a more modern phenomenon. You're the expert this time."

"Stick with me, buddy. You'll catch up."

"Adapt or die – the motto of a successful vampire."

"And you're living proof, Josef. Except for the living part."


	3. Coupling and Uncoupling

**Coupling and Uncoupling**

The double dates went well at first. Josef had social obligations and was welcome to bring guests so he and Simone and Mick and Beth attended a gallery show and the symphony, saw a museum exhibit and went to a fund-raiser. Between the dress-up events they did things like miniature golf and a carnival and a midnight swim from a private beach.

At the carnival, just before closing, Josef bought all the seats on the Ferris wheel so they could ride alone, and arranged for it to stop at the top. By the time they went swimming they were comfortable with each other. Halfway through the evening swimsuits seemed optional and they all opted out.

Then things began to fall apart. It was subtle at first – a glance, an expression. Then a sharp comment that was meant to cut instead of being funny or sarcastic.

Mick stopped by to see Josef and found him staring out the window. A brief greeting, a little small talk, and Josef was silent for a minute before saying quietly, "Simone and I aren't going to make it."

"I figured. It's been tense lately. What happened?"

"She wants to be turned. I can't do it."

"Because of Sarah?"

"Not really. Bad turnings are rare and I don't expect it to happen again. I just don't want forever with Simone."

"You were considering it at one time."

"Not very seriously. I don't think I can sustain a relationship."

"We've been friends for 50 years."

"Good thing I never sucked you and fucked you," Josef said a little bitterly, "Or we probably wouldn't have lasted either."

"So you're a better friend than lover. That's not a bad thing to be. And it's no good forcing a relationship."

"I was married once. Not by choice. It was a duty to king and country. When you're a loyal subject and the crown asks you to marry for political reasons, it's not a request, it's a royal command."

"How long did it last?"

"Only two years but I have never felt so trapped."

"Well, that's valid. You were trapped. How did you get out of it?"

"The king waged war. I volunteered immediately. I led a couple of charges that we won and then I 'died' on the battlefield in view of witnesses."

"Was anyone suspicious?"

"No, a lot of bodies weren't recovered back then. Cannons exploding, horses trampling, lots of smoke for cover. I got away clean. I never felt like eternity with one woman was possible until Sarah. And now I wonder if it would have worked if she had been turned. She's my dream, you know? But maybe that's because I never had to live with the reality."

"Why keep her on blood support? It's unlikely she'll come out of it after all this time."

"I can't let her go. Not yet."

"If the time ever comes, if you want me to do it . . ."

Josef smiled a little. "What is it with you? You killed your wife, now you want to kill my girlfriend."

"If you ever decide it's over, I'll do it so you don't have to."

Josef nodded.

"Will there be any fallout from you and Simone?" Mick asked.

"I'm not putting her in the tar pits, in case you were wondering. And she won't tell. Lawyers know how to keep secrets. She's moving to Atlanta."

"Well, that's about as far away from you as she can get."

"That did occur to me."

"Will she find someone else to turn her?"

"No. She wanted to be with me. She enjoyed the feelings she got from giving blood but she never liked the idea of being food or considering someone else as food."

"Definitely not vampire material. So, what's next?"

"I think I need to be with a vampire again instead of a human. The last one was Lola."

"Maybe you need to be with yourself for awhile."

"I get lonely, remember? But enough about me. Did Beth get moved in?"

"Yes, we are officially cohabiting."

"What has she done with the place?"

"Not much downstairs. She did the master bedroom, and the spare room is her office."

"It was ridiculous that you didn't keep a bedroom for show."

"I have already heard that from Beth."

"What can I get her for a housewarming gift?"

"Beth gave me a list, I've got it here someplace . . . No, only your presence is required. She wants to give you the tour."

"Is she upset about Simone?"

"She's upset about you. She likes Simone but they haven't known each other very long."

"Is Beth going to be domestic and want to clean for you?"

"God, no. She's always done her own cleaning and is glad to give it up. She knows I've had a contract with The Cleaners for decades."

"Me, too - office and home. I miss the black leather on the legitimate cleaning crews."

"It's only for the accident crews. They're very careful but if they are seen, they're just a bunch of Goth chicks."

"Wonder what the uniform will be when the Goth phase is over."

"I always look forward to a redesign."

"Does Beth know all about The Cleaners?"

"Yeah, she understands. And she thinks the uniforms are hot, too."

"Please don't tell me you role-play."

"You mean where I'm an accident victim and she's a Cleaner? Of course not." Mick stood up. "You'll be over later?"

"Yes. And Beth doesn't need to change if she's modeling the uniform."


	4. Corporate Joe

**Corporate Joe**

After Josef and Simone broke up, Beth said she and Mick needed to be sure and keep in touch with him. Mick thought this was unnecessary since without any special effort he and Josef had managed to stay in touch for 50 years. Beth gave him a look and told him they would 'be there' for Josef. Mick shut up – he hadn't planned to abandon Josef anyway and Josef seemed to enjoy spending time with them. Mick was just glad his girlfriend and his best friend got along. So Mick, ever the supportive friend, stopped by Josef's office on his way home to ask if Josef wanted to come over later.

Josef looked regretful. "I have to work."

"I thought the markets would be closing soon."

"It's not the markets, it's paperwork. I have to do performance reviews."

"What the hell?"

"I'm a corporation, Mick. I have employees who earn salaries, incentives and bonuses. Those things depend on their performance, so their performance has to be evaluated."

"Don't you have people to do that?"

"Most of it, but three people report directly to me and I have to do those."

Who reports directly?"

"The heads of security, HR, and operations."

"I thought you were the chief operating officer."

"I'm the CEO and CFO. The head of operations runs the office. I'm not ordering paperclips personally."

"Do you even use paperclips?"

"Not many. I love the paperless environment."

"I'm glad to be self-employed. I'll never make the kind of money you do but on the other hand – no performance reviews."

"You're doing all right."

"What am I worth?"

"Twenty-six million."

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" Mick said, shocked.

"Just Josef, actually. Why do I know what you're worth and you don't? I've been managing your portfolio for 50 years. You get quarterly statements. Don't you read them?"

"I think it's been about 10 years. I was doing okay then but not 26 million okay."

Josef's eye started twitching.

"You've got a tic," Mick said helpfully.

"I am appalled. How can you not check your bottom line for 10 years?"

"I'm just messing with you. I don't pay attention quarterly but I usually look at the year-end statement. Except I missed the last one and I was surprised at the big jump from the year before. I started with 25,000 from that insurance fraud case."

"That's the beauty of compound interest plus a few big booms over the years."

"And no one else knows about this? I mean, I'm glad they don't, but why don't they?"

"No one knows what I'm worth, either. I'm very good at hiding money."

Mick nodded. "Shell corporations, right? Or offshore accounts."

Josef's eye tic returned. "Mick, I'm begging you not to act like you understand how finance works at this level."

"No problem – that was all I had anyway."

"Does Beth know you're such a catch?"

"I don't think so, which is probably good. I might wonder if she loved me for my money."

"I'm pretty sure that's not the reason. You really don't care about money, do you?"

"I don't need much. If I didn't have enough I'm sure I would care more."

"You know, you can afford to do something nice for yourself and Beth."

"I'll pick up a bottle of wine. The good stuff."

"Yes, a bottle of expensive wine was exactly what I had in mind."

"Actually, I've been thinking of taking Beth to see the Aurora Borealis. You want to come along? You can bring freshies."

"It's really cold up there," Josef said, considering. "It does make a nice change from L.A."

"The trip is my treat. We can sleep in the snow."

"I have a lodge in Alaska built over an ice cave. We could stay there. And we can take my plane."

"See, it's hard to spend money with you around. You've got everything covered."

"I'll let you pay for the flight fuel."

"Okay, I'll check with Beth and we'll get it scheduled. Now, since you're still busy here, if you do finish up . . . uh . . . don't stop by."

"Early night?"

"That's the plan."

"I'm glad it's working out for you and Beth," Josef said sincerely. "You're lucky."

"Thank you, Josef," Mick said seriously. "And I'm hoping to get even luckier in a couple of hours."


	5. Help Wanted

**Help Wanted**

Mick, at a loose end until his next appointment, stopped to see Josef. "I told Beth what I was worth."

"Did she get dollar signs in her eyes?"

"Yes, but not over my assets. She wonders if you would invest for her."

"How much?"

"Fifty thousand. She was Josh's beneficiary. I think most of it is from that. She doesn't have much savings yet. She just finished paying off school loans."

"She needs a jump-start." Josef thought for a moment then turned and tapped at his keyboard. A few minutes later he turned back to Mick and asked, "Is Beth happy working for Talbot?"

"It's okay for now. She says it's better than BuzzWire without Maureen, but it's not her dream job."

"You think she'd be interested in working for me?"

Mick raised an eyebrow. "As what?"

"I haven't replaced that PR guy yet. Every soulless corporation needs a human face. In Beth's case she would literally be the human face of Kostan Industries. Press releases, dealing with the media, making me and KI look good. Her journalism degree and experience as a reporter are perfect qualifications."

"That actually sounds very good, despite what happened to the last guy."

"He was a vampire and he cheated people in my name. He got what he deserved. If Beth does something wrong, I'll turn her over to you for punishment."

"She might start making mistakes on purpose."

"Good point. I'll try to think of some non-lethal way to handle it myself."

"So long as you don't have impure thoughts about my girlfriend."

"Uh-oh."

"Yeah, I thought so." Mick paused a moment. "Beth thinks Ben Talbot is suspicious about something. He asks questions about me. That's the real reason she wants to keep the job. She wants to watch him, find out if he knows anything."

"I can put someone in his office to do that. In fact, I should have known about this. We've had some exposure lately. We need to be careful."

"The job is up to her, of course."

"I wanted to make sure you had no objection to me offering it to her. Why don't you come to the house tomorrow night? I'll talk to her then."

"What should I tell her about investing her money?"

Josef turned to his keyboard and tapped again. He took a page off the printer and handed it to Mick. "Tell her the new balance is 56,000."

"Six thousand in 20 minutes! How did that happen?"

"I was just showing off. The jump-start, remember? Obviously she won't be making 6,000 every 20 minutes."

"You really are good at this, aren't you?"

Josef smiled. "You have no idea. That's a temporary account, by the way. I'll need some information from her to set up the real one. We'll get her money transferred then."

"So what did you use to invest for her?"

"Personal slush fund."

"You have 50,000 in a personal slush fund?"

"I have much more than that. 50,000 is all I used."

"What if the jump-start hadn't worked and the money was gone?"

"Then I would have lost 50,000. Beth hadn't signed anything yet. But why would the jump-start fail? I thought we established how good I am."

"Confident, too."

"It's a cut-throat business. And I happen to have some expertise with throats."


	6. Josef's Problem

**Josef's Problem**

Conversation kept lagging so Mick finally took the plunge: "You've been cranky lately. I thought it was just me but Beth says you seem moody with everyone. If I didn't know better I'd think you weren't getting any."

Silence. Josef stared at him.

"That was rhetorical because I assumed you are getting some."

Silence. It was more of a glare now.

Mick was stunned. "Okay, I guess the problem is identified. Are you going to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about. Literally."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Two months."

"That's all?"

"It's a long time for me."

"What about Alaska? You brought two freshies."

"They're partners."

"Gay freshies . . ."

Josef snapped his fingers. "Hey! Pay attention."

"Sorry, I was distracted."

"As only a straight man can be at the thought of lesbians."

"All right, I'm ashamed of myself."

"Didn't you notice they were into each other?"

"I was focused on Beth. If I had thought about it I probably would have assumed a threesome."

"I wish."

"Me, too. But don't tell Beth."

"Your sense of humor is not a joy to me. You're not taking this seriously."

"I am, really. I wouldn't usually recommend this, but do you have hookers on call?"

"They didn't help."

"Wow. Is anything on your mind? Maybe you're thinking subconsciously about something."

"I have been thinking about something you said."

"I see where this is leading. It's going to end up being my fault."

"When Simone and I broke up you said maybe I needed to be by myself for awhile."

"When you are by yourself, have you tried taking matters into your own hands?"

"No need for euphemisms. Yes, I masturbate."

"You do? Then what's the problem?"

"I don't want to be with anyone."

"Don't want to? Or can't?"

"Of course I can. I just don't feel like it."

"We've had a major miscommunication here. I got the impression that you couldn't perform under any circumstances."

"I would have asked you to stake me and burn me."

"Have you considered that you don't want to jump just anyone? Maybe you're waiting for someone you're interested in."

"That doesn't sound like me."

"Anything's possible. Look, I really don't think you have a problem but if you're worried, why don't you see someone? I'm glad to talk but I'm not a therapist and I have to be out of town for awhile. A couple of psychiatrists in L.A. are vampires."

* * *

Mick had been busy lately and, with the case out of town, he hadn't seen Josef for almost a month. "How's the problem?"

"Not a problem anymore. Thanks for suggesting the psychiatrist."

"You actually went? I never thought you would. It was kind of a dare."

"I know – that's why I decided to go. I was curious anyway."

"So she helped?"

"Immeasurably. She actually studied with Freud. Unusual for a woman back then."

"Are you still in therapy?"

"No, I only had one session."

"How could she help so fast . . . oh, my God, you're sleeping with your shrink."

"Of course not. I'm no longer her patient. We kind of clicked right away. At my second appointment she said she would have to refer me to someone else. She's very ethical."

"Do Beth and I get to meet her?"

"Tomorrow night at my house. Bring your mental health."


	7. Crystal Beth

**Crystal Beth**

Beth's cell phone beeped. Mick put on a little vamp speed to reach it before it went off again. He spoke quietly. "Hello."

Josef's voice. "Why are you answering Beth's phone instead of sleeping in your freezer?"

"She's indisposed. Why are you calling my girlfriend on a Sunday instead of sleeping?"

"I'm calling from my freezer room. I'll be asleep as soon as we hang up. And I'm not calling your girlfriend, I'm calling my employee. A piece of manure is about to impact the oscillating blades and I need damage control. I want my PR person to deflect it or spin it. How sick is she?"

"She's not exactly sick. Can it wait until afternoon? She should be okay by then."

"Sure, it won't happen until tonight. What's wrong with Beth?"

"She still had some Black Crystal. She took it last night."

"You told me what happened last time. So you must have had a good night?"

"An amazing night. But the morning after is a little rough."

"What brought this on?"

"We were talking about Emma and Jackson being married for 150 years. Beth wanted to . . . umm . . . enhance the experience with vampire senses."

"She does recall that Emma and Jackson crashed and burned?"

"You couldn't resist that, could you?"

"Their relationship really did go up in flames."

"Are you finished?"

"Remember when we met Jim Morrison and The Doors? 'Light My Fire' was running through my mind while we watched them burn."

Mick sighed. "I was thinking of 'Smoke Gets in Your Eyes'."

"A more romantic choice, but you're as bad as I am."

"I wonder what The Cleaners' theme song would be – 'Taking Care of Business'?"

"Maybe 'Girls Just Want to Have Fun'. They seem to enjoy their work."

"We're both despicable."

"Another reason to be friends. Why were you and Beth talking about the Monaghans?"

"It came up when Beth mentioned being turned."

"Is that on the table?"

"Not yet but it will be eventually. Beth is 27 now. You know the old joke about being 29 forever."

"A vampire started that. So you're willing to turn her? Hey, 'turn her' and 'Turner'. What's that called?"

"Homonym, maybe? I think I have to. I can't lose her. When she's ready I will be, too."

"Beth doesn't need to worry that what happened to the Monaghans would happen to you. Emma seemed stable but there was a recklessness that she couldn't always control. She was turned on a ship coming over from Ireland. Never knew who did it."

"But she wasn't feral like the doctor that Gerald Stovsky turned by accident."

"Being abandoned by a sire affects each one differently. It wasn't Emma's nature to be that openly vicious. But the wild streak made her unpredictable. She probably would have self-destructed long ago without Jackson."

"Thanks, Josef. Beth will appreciate knowing that."

"Tell her to take a couple of aspirin and call me in the evening. And confiscate her stash!"


	8. The Care and Feeding of Vampires

**The Care and Feeding of Vampires**

They slowed the horses to a walk to cool down after the gallop. There was a full moon and it was easy to see even without vamp vision. The horses didn't seem to mind vampires which was lucky, Josef had been known to say, since time would have hung very heavy walking for centuries while waiting for cars to be invented.

The stable owner came to meet them but Josef waved him away. "We have time tonight – we'll take care of them."

It was odd to see Josef handle saddle and tack and grooming a horse with such practiced ease. Elegant Josef with his designer suits and handmade shoes in grubby clothes and dusty riding boots. Mick was slower, competent rather than expert. He was born into an L.A. with automobiles, but it was also the era of Westerns so Mick grew up liking horses without knowing much about them. The horses had water and grain while they were groomed. Now Josef took two packages from his pocket and tossed one to Mick. They fed the horses apples and carrots. Josef never forgot the treats.

Mick had left his car at Josef's house and ridden to the stables in Josef's beat-up Land Rover, which Josef enjoyed as much as his Ferrari but for different reasons. They went back to the house for liquid refreshment.

"Beth told me she's going to Chicago with you next week."

"There's a meeting I need to attend in person, with a press conference which Beth will handle. I can get some freezer time in the air while we fly out Tuesday morning and we'll be back late Wednesday. Beth can have the rest of the week off to make up for the loss of any tender moments."

"We can go two days without sex."

"You can't be sure until you try. Does this mean you won't be having phone sex while she's gone and 'missed you' sex when she's back?"

"I hadn't thought of that."

"I'm doing you a favor taking her away."

"Is Sandrina going?"

"She doesn't want to reschedule her patients for a two day trip. I'll be busy most of the time anyway."

Mick was interested. "How does her practice work?"

"She has a few human patients who don't know about vampires, but most of them do. Freshies or someone whose friend or family member was turned. An occasional vampire but that's rare. We're not an introspective bunch. Except you, before Beth. You were a psychiatrist's wet dream. No offense."

"Very little taken. Does Sandrina work days or nights?"

"She's on call for emergencies but her usual hours are 5-10 pm. That gives her most of the night free and most of the day on ice. The humans who don't know about vampires think she has late hours for their convenience."

"About this business trip, Beth said there's a banquet and you're going to eat."

Josef grimaced. "I have to pass for human this time."

"But you're a vampire. We can't eat."

"We can't taste food and we can't digest it but we can ingest it."

"How?"

"Drink plenty of non-blood fluids. Not all alcohol either. Water is good. Chew well and excuse yourself as soon as possible."

"I have a bad feeling where this is going."

"Find a private bathroom and throw up."

"That's disgusting."

"Also messy and undignified. But sometimes necessary. I'm in the public eye more than you. I can't always be 'coming down with something' or 'on a special diet'."

"What does it feel like?"

"Going down or coming up?"

"Both, I guess."

"Eating doesn't hurt but it feels unnatural. It's a little uncomfortable. There's stuff inside you that doesn't belong. Vomiting is pretty much the same as for humans. It's terrible at the time but afterward you feel better."

"What if you don't throw up?"

"The longer you wait the worse you feel. And your body will reject it eventually. Actually, vomiting in public might not be a bad idea. Humiliating, but no one will urge you to eat anytime soon."

"How often do you have to eat?"

"Once or twice a year."

"So Beth is going to page you for an urgent phone call?"

"Yes. And when I get back to the table my plate will be cleared away and I'll skip dessert."

"Do you need blood right away?"

Josef's pale skin looked a little green. "That's the worst part. I can't feed for 24 hours. It ruins the taste." He shuddered. "You know, Coraline really was a bad wife and a worse sire. Didn't she teach you these things?"

"To be fair, I was pretty resistant. I think she gave up after covering the basics."

"After years of Coraline-bashing, this isn't the first time you've defended her recently. I thought you hated her."

"Kidnapping Beth was unforgiveable but on the other hand, I met the love of my life."

"When she was four and you were 63. And you spent 20 years keeping tabs on her. Beth didn't think that was a little creepy?"

"She went with 'guardian angel' instead of 'pedophile stalker'."

"Barking mad, both of them. At least Beth is crazy about you instead of just crazy."

Mick glanced at his watch and stood up. "She'll be home soon – girl's night out."

"And I need to get cleaned up. Sandrina will be here soon."

"Thanks for the horse ride. Does Sandrina like to ride?"

"Yes." Josef smiled. "But not horses."


	9. Sex and the Single Vampire

**Sex and the Single Vampire**

Mick tried the door. It was unlocked and opened silently. He felt the cold air wash over him.

Josef's voice was grumpy. "I can hear you and smell you. Come in and shut the door. I'm not freezing the whole house, you know. What are you doing here?"

The room was dim with a faint glow from recessed lighting. Josef lay facedown on a very big, very comfortable looking bed. He was probably nude beneath the sheet pulled to his waist.

"One of your freshies called when you didn't get up at your usual time and didn't answer your cell phone."

Josef propped himself on his elbows. "I was trying to sleep in. Who called?"

"I'm not ratting her out. Besides, they were all worried. She told me it was over between you and Sandrina."

"And what – she thought I was offing myself in here?"

"She thought you might be a little depressed."

"My girlfriend is the psychiatrist, not my freshies. Must have been Ellie. She had a semester of psychology and thinks she can read me."

Mick noticed Josef hadn't said 'ex-girlfriend' and wondered if it meant anything. Josef was usually pretty precise about things like that.

"They do care about you beyond the business arrangement for blood." Mick was looking around. The room was small and simple and colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra. The bed was almost the only furnishing. "This is very civilized," he said admiringly.

"So that's why you came to the rescue. You haven't seen my room freezer yet. What do you think?"

"I think I need one. How much did it cost?"

"You can afford it. You have 27 million dollars."

"I thought it was 26 million."

"Still not reading the quarterly reports. Your net worth has increased." Josef turned over and moved to the side. He nodded at the bed. "Go ahead. Get comfortable."

Mick grinned, kicked off his shoes, and jumped on the bed. He lay on his back with his arms behind his head. "Cotton sheets. I would have thought silk."

"They're for company and you don't qualify."

Mick rubbed his cheek against the pillow. "I like the cotton – crisp and cold."

"Yeah, yeah, it's the fabric of our lives. Didn't Ellie consider that I might actually be catching up on my sleep?"

"Apparently not. What happened with Sandrina?"

"It was mutual and amicable. It was just . . . over."

Mick wasn't sure about that 'mutual'. He wondered whose idea it actually was. "And you don't mind?"

"I've been noticing human women lately."

"I detect a pattern to your interest. Vampire, human, vampire, human."

"When I'm with a vampire, after a while I start thinking of the advantages of a human. And vice versa."

"What do you miss about each?"

"It comes down to sex."

"Naturally. Go on."

"Vampires are stronger and extremely limber and I can be completely myself with them. No holding back, no need to be careful."

"And humans?"

"Circulation makes it a little better, more real. Hotter, wetter, blood pumping hard."

"Agreed. If and when Beth wants to be turned, I might notice a difference but I won't mind. For you, it sounds like switching back and forth is the solution."

"I've always thought so."

"Are you happy?"

Josef seemed to be giving the question serious thought. "Serial dating suits me. At least for now."

Mick noticed the absence of an absolute 'yes' but knew it wasn't the right time to pursue it. "Do you treat the women well? Promise them anything you can't give? Do they know it's not going to last?"

"Yes, no, and yes. Although some may think it will be different with them."

"That's not your problem if you're honest with them."

"It's not a lifestyle that's admired lately. Everyone wants commitment."

"Also not your problem. It's your right to be unapologetically Josef."

"I think I'll go trolling for a human tonight. Not to date or feed from – just an uncomplicated fuck. An old-fashioned one night stand."

Mick sighed and closed his eyes. "I was wrong. It's your right to be Josef but you certainly should apologize for it."

"Did Beth come with you?"

"She's eating with the freshies. They were starting dinner when we arrived."

"Would she like to see the room freezer? She may be sharing one with you eventually."

"Sure, call and ask her to come up."

"Will she be shocked to find us in bed together?"

"I doubt it."

"What if I was doing something outrageous when she walked in?"

"Beth doesn't shock easily."

Josef grinned and reached for his cell. "Let's test that theory."


	10. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

**Breaking Up Is Hard To Do**

Mick felt the anticipation of glee as he entered Josef's office. "Sandrina was leaving the building as I arrived. I thought you broke up."

"We've seen each other a couple of times since then."

"A couple is twice."

"Four times, maybe five."

"How did you get back together?"

"She called and said she missed me."

"If I ask her, will the answer be the same?"

"Actually, she called back and said she missed me, too."

"So you called her first and left a message that you missed her."

"What's your point?"

"I just made it."

And there it was, the glee of catching Josef not in an absolute lie perhaps but a definite glossing of the truth to his advantage. To his credit, he always came clean when caught, and Mick was pretty sure Josef didn't get much past him anymore. Fifty years of friendship had given Mick some insight to the master manipulator that was Josef. Plus, Mick had been certain this break-up had affected Josef more than he admitted.

"So Sandrina was willing to take you back."

"I told you the break-up was mutual and amicable."

"I thought you were hunting humans for mindless sex."

"One human. It was an enjoyable night and then it was over."

Enjoyable wasn't the way Josef usually described these things. "Didn't live up to your expectations?" Mick asked.

"It was fine but once was enough."

Fine was an even worse description and once had never been enough for Josef. Mick decided not to let him off the hook. "And then you called Sandrina?"

"Pretty soon after that."

"Did you try dating humans again?"

"Kind of."

Well this is painful, Mick thought. I have to drag every word out of him. "What happened?"

Josef shrugged.

"Something must have changed your mind."

"I didn't really want to be with a human again after all."

"What about serial dating and non-commitment and pumping blood?"

"I missed her," Josef said quietly. "I missed Sandrina."

With that admission Mick couldn't keep pushing. "Well, I'm glad you worked it out. You guys seemed good together."

"I'm afraid Sandrina will become my next Lola."

"Are you going to give her a million dollars to poison vamps with silver and make drugs?"

Josef smiled a little. "I was thinking of the part where we got together every 10 years for mutual satisfaction."

"You don't want to get together with Sandrina every 10 years?"

"I'm hoping for something more frequent."

Mick was starting to realize how serious this was and what Josef was possibly trying to say. He should have caught on quicker but he wasn't used to uncertain or vulnerable Josef. "Are you in love with Sandrina?"

"If I'm not, it's the closest I've been since 1955."

"Since Sarah."

"It's a different feeling than I had for Sarah. But it might be even stronger."

Okay, Mick thought, a little wallowing is good but it's time for the tough love. "It sounds like you've got it bad this time. I hope you mean it. It would be good for you. That being said, don't over think it. Relax and enjoy it. She's already a vampire. That's one less complication."

Josef looked more like his usual self. "And she likes my room freezer."

"Who wouldn't?"

"How is yours coming along? Are you using my guys?"

"Of course. But the name 'Fly By Night Contractors' is not going to expand their customer base."

"They don't have to work much. They take occasional jobs and only for vampires. If a human thinks their name is whimsical and tries to hire them, they're too busy or too expensive."

"They're doing good work. It'll be finished by the end of the week."

"Beth probably won't want to sleep there all night but is she going to help break it in?"

"There has been talk of playing Eskimo. She got that fake fur outfit in Alaska. It must have been a premonition because she has no reason to wear it anywhere else in L.A."

"Will 'The Iceman Cometh'?"

"I certainly hopeth."

They were laughing when Josef's personal cell buzzed. He glanced at the ID. "Hi."

Mick could hear Sandrina very faintly as he got up and left. As he closed the door he heard Josef say, "I miss you, too."


	11. Birthday Girl

**Birthday Girl**

Josef and Mick were at Josef's house waiting for Sandrina and Beth to return. Mick sipped his Bloody Mary – O positive, hold the tomato juice. "I thought you didn't celebrate birthdays."

"I don't. It's Sandrina's birthday."

"And you gave her a spa night for two. Beth appreciates it, but Sandrina's skin and hair will never change."

"It's about the pampering."

"Beth showed me a brochure. Pampering isn't the word I would use. Grotesque torture comes to mind. Women enjoy this?"

"They love it."

"There were pictures of zombie-like creatures with huge empty eyes and slimy bodies."

"That would be the face masque, cucumber slices and seaweed wrap."

"We could vamp out in public and be less scary. That place must be like the produce aisle of a grocery – lemons, melons, cucumbers. Plus oatmeal and egg whites."

"How do you know about produce?"

"I pick up things for Beth."

Josef was amused. "You shop?"

"Beth is human and she has to eat. If she's working late, for you by the way, I pick up a few things."

"Food items only or are feminine products included?"

"It's been known to happen."

"I must change Beth's hours so it happens more often."

"Please do. I've been a little cocky lately and nothing is more humbling than a guy at the checkout with tampons and a pint of Ben & Jerry's." Mick paused. "Is it indelicate to ask how old is Sandrina?"

"209 going on 25."

"You were turned at the same age?"

"Yes, and we were born 200 years apart – 1599 and 1799."

"I assume she chose to be turned."

"Yes, but there was another factor. She was dying of consumption."

"Tuberculosis."

"As a human she had never been very strong. And women's lives were restricted. She hadn't been anywhere or done anything and it was all going to end in a few months. When the opportunity arose, she decided to live drinking blood instead of die coughing it up."

"Who was her sire?"

"That's the interesting part and I hope you won't hold it against her. You're cousins. She was turned by a brother of Coraline."

"Not Lance?"

"Oh hell no. It was the youngest brother, Henri. The only decent one of the bunch, actually. They must have run low on the asshole gene by the time he came along."

"Sandrina's not French, is she? How did they meet?"

"She's Swiss. She was sent to a sanatorium in the Alps. The air is supposed to be good for the lungs. But it was too late. She was really there to die. Henri was there for the cold weather."

"Isn't 'the family' supposed to approve all turnings? Coraline got in trouble over me."

"Henri didn't tell Sandrina what he was at first. He got permission then offered her the chance."

"He does sound decent. The family didn't object?"

"Henri didn't always get along with them. No big feud – he just avoided them. He liked being a vampire but he didn't have the same sense of entitlement as the rest of the family. He had never turned anyone. They were all allowed to turn a servant but Henri didn't. And they could turn the occasional lover or someone who would increase the family wealth and influence."

"So Sandrina was an asset to them?"

"No. Her family line was excellent but not powerful. Impoverished nobility was the term then. I think the family saw Henri's request as a sign that the lost sheep was returning to the fold. It wasn't but they didn't realize it until later. Sandrina not having money or power was an advantage five years later when Henri died. The family left her alone."

"What happened to Henri?"

"Officially he was killed by an enemy of the family. But Henri had become more outspoken. I wonder if the family got fed up and eliminated a liability."

"So Sandrina was alone after five years as a vampire."

"She was devastated. But Henri was a good sire. He taught her well. Sometimes I wish she needed me more."

"Feeling protective?"

"I guess so."

"I don't think a clinging vine would appeal to you long-term. And 'Josef all sweetness and light' would get old fast."

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since you and Sandrina got back together you've been . . . nice. You're not Sears – I don't need to see the softer side of Josef on a regular basis."

"Did I mock you for being sappy over Beth?"

"Yes. You still do."

"Fair enough. 'I may be love's bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it'."

"Who said that? Because you did not just make it up."

"Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

"You watched that show?"

"I make it a point to check out television, movies and books about vampires. Gotta know what the public is being told about us."

"How was it?"

"Perfect."

"Really? They got everything right?"

"Of course not. It was perfect because it was great entertainment and they got everything wrong. Stakes, sunlight, holy items."

"So our secret is safe from Slayer fans."

"I'm telling you, we owe Joss Whedon a favor for misleading an entire generation."


	12. History Lesson

**History Lesson**

"Salute."

"En garde."

The ballet of blades began: advance – lunge – thrust – parry – riposte – parry – slash. Movements so quick epee's and bodies blurred. Josef had speed, skill and 400 years of strategy. His body itself was like a blade – slim, flexible, tempered steel. Mick's body was denser but graceful, a trifle slower but he had more power and a longer reach.

Josef's centuries of experience would give him the edge in almost any encounter but under his tutelage Mick had learned in a few decades to be a worthy opponent. Mick made Josef work for every point and occasionally surprised the hell out of him besides.

There was no protective gear in sight and they had long ago learned to save their clothes from rips and bloodstains by wearing only gym shorts. They circled barefoot in the room Josef had made into a fencing salon. Minor injuries were ignored; they stopped only if bleeding was severe.

Beth and Sandrina liked to watch sometimes but since they were mostly interested in the possibility of gym short slippage they had been banned from serious practice sessions.

After a couple of hours Mick and Josef showered in the adjoining locker room, dressed, and went to Josef's study for drinks.

"Why do we always fence or golf or ride horses?", Mick asked. "How about basketball or boxing or the shooting range?"

"Because I like to win and you're better at those. But I see your point. No need to get into a rut. How about archery?"

"Archery sounds like something you grew up doing."

"No, I picked it up in the early 19th century."

"But you're good at it?"

"Sandrina is better. It was one of the few sports for women. She also paints watercolors, embroiders and plays the pianoforte."

"She's expert at all that?"

"No, she's pretty bad at everything but archery. But those were a young lady's accomplishments 200 years ago and back then you didn't step too far out of the station you were born to."

"What about you? When your office was bombed and I thought you were dead I realized I only know bits and pieces of your life."

"You know I was born in 1599 and turned before my 25th birthday."

"And you know I was born in 1922 and turned at 30 on my wedding night. You know almost all of my 85 years. Stop being mysterious. Start talking."

"But I'm 409," Josef complained, "It'll take forever."

"Theoretically we have forever. But I don't mean every detail. Hit the high points. What's one important thing from the 1600s?"

"I avoided the Spanish Inquisition."

"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

"I wouldn't have expected you to be a Monty Python fan."

"I love PBS and the BBC. Besides, how did you recognize the quote?"

"Do you want to hear this or not?"

"Continue."

"Europe wasn't very vamp friendly just then and it was time for me to disappear for awhile so I went to Japan."

"Shogun."

Josef stared. "I thought you spent the 70s in your apartment brooding about being a vampire. Now I find you were watching British comedy and American mini-series."

"I'm a product of the TV generation. But I haven't watched much since the late 80s."

"The only entertainment used to be war or religion. And they were pretty much the same what with the Inquisition and the Crusades, which thankfully were before my time."

"How long were you in Japan?"

"Maybe 20 years. Then I went to India. I can't remember why that seemed like a good idea. It's nicer now but I did not see it at its best. No air conditioning or freezers, of course. Hot, dirty, smelly, with insects and disease."

"You can't get sick from human disease."

"But the humans can. Do you think leprosy improves the flavor of lunch? Europe was just as bad with the outbreaks of plague. And the ignorance and superstition. Someone decided cats were evil and brought sickness so they started killing cats. And of course the plague spread because there were fewer cats to kill the rats that carried the plague."

"Okay, touchy subject. Hey, what about your marriage? You went to war to get out of it."

"Ah, yes, Waterloo in 1815."

"You 'died' at the Battle of Waterloo? So you met your Waterloo."

"Original," Josef said scathingly. "I've never heard that before."

"I couldn't resist."

"Try harder."

"Was it the King of England who asked you to make a political marriage?"

"Actually, I was on the other side."

"Napoleon made you get married?"

"Boney was Emperor not King. It was one of his few remaining allies. The country doesn't exist anymore."

"But you met Bonaparte?"

"Of course. But more importantly I met Josephine. She was my only Empress."

"Are you making this up? All these famous people you've known or fed from?"

"It wouldn't be beyond me, but no. Everything really happened."

"That's incredible." Mick was serious. "I told Beth what a loss it was when we thought you were gone. I do not want to lose a friend I've had for 50 years."

Josef was serious too. "I can't count the number of friends I've lost over the centuries, but you're the one I would miss forever."

"Are we having a moment here?"

"It had to be said - once."

"What if one of us almost dies again?"

"We suck it up and let the women cry."


	13. A LIttle Less Conversation

A/N: The title says it all – there isn't much dialog. It's mostly internal Josef. And not funny. I couldn't bring it with this subject matter, but I felt it needed to be written. The boys will be back next chapter.

**A Little Less Conversation**

On Friday evening Josef Kostan decided to change his future forever.

A few weeks before when Sandrina started spending more time at the house he suggested she leave some things so she wouldn't have to bring everything with her when she stayed over. She agreed but she hadn't left much yet. Josef wasn't satisfied with the arrangement but didn't feel he could change it until he dealt with his past.

He called Mick and asked to stop by. Mick might show up at Josef's office later but he didn't want to wait. Besides, he was calling in a promise so Josef went to him. Mick didn't ask if Josef was sure. He knew Josef wouldn't make this decision lightly. His only question was, "How soon?"

"Can you be ready by morning?"

"Yes, I'll see Guillermo tonight."

Josef called his pilot and told him to have the plane ready at 9:00.

"Beth will want to go, if you'd like her to be there."

Josef nodded. "I'll pick you up at 7:00."

Josef went to his office and arranged to be away for a few days. Then he timed his arrival at Sandrina's office after her last patient. Josef had told her about Sarah when they got back together. She had only one comment, "I don't want you to do this because you think I need or want or expect it."

"I'm not. It's for me and for Sarah. It's time. It's actually past time."

Josef went home to pack. He made a few calls including one to Paula. He told her to expect him and the couple she met a year ago. He had some blood, but not from a freshie. Josef didn't hate bagged blood as much as he let Mick believe. It wasn't his favorite but there were times when he didn't want human interaction while feeding.

Mick and Beth were waiting when the limo pulled up the next morning. Beth got in first and kissed Josef's cheek. Mick just nodded. He had a small case with him that he didn't let the driver put with the luggage. They were silent on the way to the airport and during takeoff. Then Mick asked if he wanted to know the arrangements. Josef did, so Mick explained briefly.

In New York Josef could feel his entire being clenching for the ordeal ahead. He actually welcomed it. This shouldn't be easy. Paula greeted them quietly. Josef thought she probably realized this wasn't just another visit. They all went to Sarah's room where a lovely young woman remained unchanged, unmoving.

Mick and Beth excused themselves and went to their room. Josef took Paula to a small sitting room and gently told her she would be retiring. She was tearful but didn't break down. Josef told Paula to spend whatever time she wished with Sarah that evening. He would stay with her all night after Paula went to bed.

Mick and Beth came in later to say goodnight. There was little to say or do. This was simply something to get through. Josef spent the night alternating between the chair in the corner, pacing the room, and lying on the wide bed beside Sarah. He missed Sandrina, and then felt guilty for thinking of her while watching Sarah.

Paula came in early to take care of Sarah for the last time. Josef showered and changed. They gathered again in Sarah's room. After thinking about this in theory for two days, suddenly it was all too real. Josef reached out and turned off the blood supply. His hand trembled a little and Beth took it. Paula was holding his other arm.

There was a permanent shunt in Sarah's arm. Mick clamped off and removed the blood drip. He was a medic in WWII but they didn't have equipment like this. Mick probably studied a similar machine; maybe Guillermo arranged for him to practice on one. That's what Mick would do to make sure this went quickly and smoothly. He inserted a syringe and glanced at Josef. Josef nodded and Mick pressed the plunger. A powerful narcotic entered Sarah's body. It would render a human unconscious in seconds and was known to work even on vampires as a painkiller. If there was any spark left in Sarah, locked deep inside, Mick would make sure she didn't suffer.

The second syringe. This time an extremely strong solution of silver nitrate flooded Sarah's system. Josef knew he and Mick were watching for any sign from Sarah. There was nothing. There hadn't been anything for more than five decades.

There were no vital signs to check but Mick had experience with vampires and silver nitrate from Lola's factory. Paula and Beth were crying a little, softly. Josef was numb and empty. It seemed incredible now, and incredibly foolish, that he let this go on for so long. Human or vampire, we find ways to punish ourselves. This was what Josef could afford to do to himself, but he also did it to Sarah. He felt relief begin to fill the emptiness.

Mick quietly said it was over. Paula kissed Sarah's forehead and left the room. Beth hugged Josef; Mick put an arm around his shoulder. They left him. Josef kissed Sarah for the last time and said he was sorry. She would always be a regret but he had to stop carrying her just as Mick had to stop carrying Coraline.

Arrangements had been made with a vampire-friendly mortuary. When Josef left the room, Mick took two attendants in and they removed Sarah's body to the waiting hearse. There was a car as well. Paula didn't want to witness the next part so Josef, Beth and Mick were driven to the crematorium where Sarah's body was fed to the flames. The ashes would be ready by late afternoon. The car took them back to Waverly Place.

Josef went to his freezer. He was finally tired enough to sleep. He hadn't cried yet and was beginning to doubt that he would but there were frozen tracks on his face when he woke up.

A limo from the mortuary took the four of them to the cemetery. An attendant holding the urn of ashes sat up front with the driver. The Whitley's had chosen to leave an empty plot between them for the beloved daughter they never knew was in limbo for 53 years. It was time for Josef to give her back to them. The interment service was short and then it really was over.

Monday was for paperwork. In addition to a generous pension, Josef signed over the townhouse to Paula to live in or sell as she wished. It had never been a home to him and he didn't want to own it any longer.

That night Mick and Beth had their long-delayed night out in New York. They didn't want to leave Josef alone so he joined them for a drink. It was almost like any other evening together except Sandrina wasn't with them. After an hour Josef insisted they continue the night without him.

They flew home the next day. Josef called Sandrina that night. She asked only if he was all right. He told her he would be.

Josef went to Sandrina's house the next night and told her about New York. He didn't stay and she didn't expect it.

Two days later he asked her to come to the house. He took her hand and kissed it in an old-fashioned courtly gesture they both grew up with. Josef was serious as he told her what he had come to realize in the past months. "You are the calm center of my existence."

She smiled slightly as she replied, "And you are the spinning center of mine."

Josef smiled too. "I need calm and you need chaos. Good thing we have each other."

"A very good thing."

They made love for the first time in two weeks. Afterward Josef asked Sandrina to live with him and she said yes.


	14. Crazy Little Thing Called Love

**Crazy Little Thing Called Love**

Sometimes for a stake-out Mick rented a car but his own fit this neighborhood so he and Josef were in familiar surroundings on the dark street. Mick had asked Josef to keep him company because it was unlikely anything would develop tonight and it would be a dull evening by himself.

"I've been thinking about marriage," Josef said suddenly.

"Christ on a crutch!" Mick was astounded. "She just moved in. You and Sandrina have been living together for less than a month."

"Not our marriage. Marriage in general. For example, you and I have both been married. Sandrina and Beth haven't."

"I've been married, pal. You had a two-year legal arrangement 200 years ago."

"Thirty-three years with Coraline, yada yada, but you were only together about half that time."

"It seemed much longer. Where is this going?"

"Will you and Beth ever marry?"

"I wouldn't say never but right now it doesn't seem likely. My experience with marriage was terrible and the Monaghans took the romance out of the vampire version for Beth. What about you and Sandrina?"

"Same thing. I didn't like the idea before I was married and I liked it even less after. And Sandrina was born at a time when marriage was almost the only option for women. She saw it as a trap."

"So why have you been thinking about marriage?"

"I'm not sure. It seemed to start when Sandrina moved in."

"You say you're not interested. You say Sandrina's not interested. Why do I get the feeling I should rent a tux?"

"We're not getting married. I just thought about it, okay? I've never lived with anyone before."

"Except your wife. Your first wife, I mean."

"We're not getting married. Can't I think about something without you jumping to conclusions?"

"If Beth is a bridesmaid, she'll want to lose five pounds before the dress fitting. That's what she always does before a wedding."

"I'm not talking to you any more."

"All right, I'm done. But seriously, what brought this on?"

"You said Sandrina and I were good together. Beth thinks so, too?"

"Sure. The first time we met her we thought it would either be over faster than usual or last a long time. When you broke up so soon we weren't surprised, but when you got back together we hoped it was long-term."

"Did you make a bet?"

"We don't bet when a friend's happiness is involved. On a completely unrelated subject, remind me that I owe Beth fifty bucks."

"Har, har. Why did you think it might last?"

"She wasn't your usual type."

"You think that will keep me from being unfaithful?"

"Is that what this is about? You're always faithful while you're with someone. It's one of the few things I've admired about you while watching your endless parade of women."

"I've been faithful because I break up with them when I find someone else I want."

"That makes you a horny jerk with commitment issues but you aren't a cheater."

"But this time I don't want to find someone else and I don't want to lose Sandrina and I don't want to cheat on her."

"Hmmm, what's the solution? There's this thing called self-control."

"I was afraid it might depend on that. I don't think I have much."

"The fact that you're worried about it probably means you have more than you think. Besides, if you cheat on Sandrina, she may have revenge sex with your best friend."

"Beth wouldn't tolerate it."

"She might let me just to teach you a lesson."

"Would I get to sleep with Beth then?"

"Of course not. You would be a horny jerk with commitment issues who cheated on her friend. She would have nothing to do with you. Why are you so worried about this?"

"I don't want to ruin what I have with Sandrina."

"Then don't. It's that simple. It really is."

Josef's cell buzzed. "Hi, honey."

"How's it going? Are you having fun?"

"Well, I'm with Mick instead of you so, no."

"You want me to come and pick you up early from your play date?"

"No, I'll stick it out."

"That's what I thought. What time will you be home?"

"Midnight."

"See you then."

Mick was amused. "You called her 'honey'. What does she call you?"

"Oh god oh god yes."

"I heard your nickname is Jo-Jo."

"And I heard yours is Mickey."

"That's the least embarrassing thing Beth calls me. At least they don't use the nicknames in public."

"Yet. How did this happen? A year ago you and Beth had just met again and I was dating . . . who was I dating?"

"The city? The state?"

"Exactly. So how did we get from there to here?"

"We're in love."

"Which I admit is great. But have we been defanged? Are we even scary any more?

"Beth has reached the point where she thinks it's cute when I vamp out. On the other hand, I don't want to scare Beth. I'm sure we can still put the fear of the fang into strangers."

"Some of my employees are afraid of me."

"Cling to that, Jo-Jo. It's all you have left."


	15. Reinventing Yourself

**Reinventing Yourself**

Mick knew something was wrong as soon as he heard Josef's voice telling him the evening was cancelled.

"Is there trouble?"

"No, a problem to be handled. Don't worry. You and Beth come to the house tomorrow instead."

* * *

It was a long 24 hours. Sandrina looked upset when they arrived. She and Beth disappeared to Sandrina's study. Josef and Mick went to Josef's.

"What's wrong with Sandrina?"

"Dead patient."

"Suicide?"

"Final determination is pending but right now it looks accidental."

"What happened?"

"Uh . . . remember that experiment I tried a few decades back?"

"You mean when you hung yourself while jerking off? No, I had totally forgotten. The image of finding you like that isn't burned into my brain at all."

"Who else was I going to leave a message to stop by in case I needed help?"

"You're missing the larger point which is, why did you do it at all?"

"It was the 60s."

"Do you know how often I've heard that excuse . . . from you? Besides, you don't breathe. It couldn't be the same for a vampire."

"That was the experimental part. I wondered if breaking my neck by hanging would have the same effect."

Mick covered his face with his hands. "It's disturbing that you gave it this much thought. It was better when I assumed it was a stupid whim."

"Can we focus on Sandrina?"

"You're right. And the poor bastard who didn't survive the experiment. What's his story?"

"He was a freshie. They found bite marks. And since he was seeing a shrink, the police took a statement from Sandrina."

"Will it turn into anything for her?"

"I don't think so. It was a formality. There's doctor-patient privilege but with a death they want to waive confidentiality. She's cooperating. The bite marks weren't visible in street clothes so Sandrina said she didn't know about them. He hadn't been a patient very long so she wouldn't be expected to know much about him yet. She doesn't like lying. The police will look at his personal life but I've already had it checked. They won't find anything to trace back. I think the investigation will be closed fairly quickly with a verdict of accidental death due to autoerotic asphyxiation. Troubled young man in an S/M relationship. Which is pretty much the truth."

"Will Sandrina be okay?"

"Eventually. She's lost patients before. I think she'll give up being a psychiatrist for a while."

"Will that be suspicious?"

"She won't quit right away. She'll stop accepting new patients and she'll refer current ones and then she won't have a practice anymore."

"That seems hard on her. She loves the work."

"Sandrina's been a shrink on and off for a hundred years. She will be again someday. She has a lot of interests so she'll explore one of them. She couldn't practice in L.A. much longer anyway."

"We'll all have to leave L.A. eventually. For a while at least."

"Yes. You have other identities ready?"

"Two clean ones. I've been thinking of starting a third."

"Good idea. I always have three waiting. When I use one I get another started. It takes a while to build it right."

"Do you know what Sandrina will do next?"

"Probably horticulture, something like that. Before she was a psychiatrist she was in antiques and before that she taught literature."

"I've only been a medic, a musician and a P.I."

"You could go to med school and be a doctor in your next life. And I could teach history."

"Have you taught history before?"

"Twice. The last time was a hundred years ago. Good thing I know what's happened since then. I've also taught languages."

"I can't picture you as a professor."

"That's because I've been in finance since we met and this is my persona when I'm making money."

"You mean you have a different personality for every profession?"

"To a certain extent. But some things never change."

"That's kind of comforting."

"What else would Beth like to do?"

"Fashion design. Writing, maybe."

"See? Everyone's got things they'd like to try. Vampires get the chance. Hey, Beth likes sushi, doesn't she?"

"Yes." Mick grimaced. "That's something I wasn't tempted to try when I was human."

"So many hot dogs, so little time."

"Also donuts. I will always regret not having a Krispy Kreme. But what about sushi?"

"I'm taking Sandrina to Japan when the investigation is over. You and Beth want to come along? I have some business to take care of. Sandrina can check out the gardens and landscaping, see if that's what she'd like to do next. Beth can eat sushi, and you can . . ."

"Can I learn a martial art?"

"Sure. We'll leave you there and come back in 10 years. You should be getting good by then."

"Isn't there something I could learn a little about in a week?"

Josef sighed. "I know a guy. I'll call him."

"Thanks. And I'd like to see the biggest Buddha."

"I'm looking at him. Oh, you said Buddha. I heard boob. You are such a tourist."

"Hey, I haven't spent 400 years traveling the globe. I get excited by new places."

Josef grinned. "You know what? The next trip is just us. I'll show you some things the girls don't need to see. Or even know about."


	16. A Change Is Gonna Do You Good

**A Change Is Gonna Do You Good**

"That's beautiful." Mick was gazing at an arrangement on a table in Josef's office.

"It is nice, isn't it? Sandrina created it."

Mick studied it more closely. "How did she do it? There are three flowers and a couple of stalks and some paper."

"The paper is origami."

"I almost knew that."

"I almost believe you. She has an instinct for minimalist design. You should see what she can do with a tray of sand and a few pebbles."

"Sandrina started her own business?"

"She bought a small greenhouse. She makes arrangements for the office, and the landscaping at our house needs renovating. She'd like to get her hands on that garden area behind your building."

"It's always been kind of messy. She should talk to the owner."

"That would be you."

Mick frowned. "I own the penthouse."

"You own the building. I invested for you a few years ago."

"What else do I own that I don't know about?"

"Look at the real estate holdings on your quarterly report."

"Since I'm the owner, I want to hire Sandrina to landscape the garden."

"She'll be thrilled. She has three designs ready and you get to pick. As long as it's the one Beth already approved."

"Beth knows about this?"

"Beth has the party planned to introduce the rest of the building to the new garden when it's finished."

"Why even bother mentioning it to me?"

"Because you're paying for it. The rest of the building won't know you're the owner, of course. The building is actually owned by a firm which is part of a corporation that's part of a holding company, etc, etc."

"So I spend money and get no credit for it. I hope Travis doesn't mind the change. He likes the garden."

"Who is Travis?"

"Maureen's cat."

"I thought Beth found it a home after Maureen was killed."

"She did but her friend left L.A. and couldn't take the cat so Travis bounced back to us. It was going to be just a couple of days until she could find another home but it turns out Travis still likes me. Must be because we met while I was human. So we have a cat."

"I don't even know where to start on the subject of a vampire with a pet."

"Travis is kind of like a vampire. He has fangs and can draw good blood with his claws. Sometimes he hisses."

"I'm not convinced. I would ask you not to mention this to anyone else but you've probably already scheduled a family photo with the three of you."

"It's going to be a cute picture. You'll see – you and Sandrina are on our Christmas card list."

"This is a disgrace to the vampire community."

"Don't be a jealous hater, Josef." Josef really was uncomfortable about too much display of humanity and Mick couldn't resist jabbing him a little. There was no photo planned but now that Mick thought about it, it was a good idea. Beth would love it. And Josef would be horrified that his sarcastic remark started it. But back to Josef's favorite subject: "So Sandrina is enjoying her new life?"

"Very much. And I'm enjoying the change of wardrobe."

"What do you mean?"

"I thought I'd miss her shrink outfits. Those professional little suits all buttoned down and business-like except for the lingerie underneath."

"Victoria's Secret is a great boon to mankind."

"I'll say. But now Sandrina is usually in jeans and tee shirts."

"Tight?"

"Snug but not slutty. The best part is when she mists the plants."

"Wet tee shirt."

"I would never scorn a bare breast but I actually prefer them in a wet tee shirt."

"What is it about men and wet tee shirts? They're completely covered but it's better than being naked."

"The possibility, maybe. Out of sight yet almost visible, and within reach."

"Do we think about sex too much?"

"Speaking for myself, no. I think about it just the right amount."

"Do we talk about it too much?"

"Maybe. But you're 30 and I'm 25. We'll be thinking with our dicks forever. How can you expect our conversation to evolve?"

"We could try to rise above it."

Josef bit his lip to keep from laughing. "Did you mean to say that? Because 'rise' in this context . . ."

"You really can't think of anything else, can you? Pervert."

"Prude."

Silence.

Mick finally broke it. "I know what you mean about lingerie. Beth doesn't know what it does to me. To her it's just underwear."

"She knows. Women always know. Does she dress in front of you, ask you to do up buttons and zippers?"

"That sounds devious. My Beth isn't devious."

"Your Beth is a cunning minx who knows exactly the effect she has on you."

"Is Sandrina a cunning minx?"

"No, she's a calculating wench but there's very little difference."

"Should we resent this?"

"What good would that do? And they aren't doing it on purpose anyway. It's the wiring."

"Hard-coded into their program."

"Have you been talking to Logan?"

"He has hidden depths."

"He probably hasn't left his basement or seen a woman since the Monaghan field trip."

"Maybe not left his basement but he's seen a woman. One of the Cleaner's assistants that night – dark hair pulled back."

"You've got to be kidding. She was adorable in a strict way. Kind of a dominatrix vibe. And he's . . ."

"He's playing the nerd card. Smart but helpless. Confused vamp grateful for guidance. That basement is the parlor, Logan is the spider, and she's the fly. He's got an act going on."

"The last liaison I would have expected, but good for him."

"So it is possible to manipulate women like they manipulate us?"

"I suppose so but in 400 years I've never had the upper hand. I can barely stay even."

"I consult with Logan about tech stuff. We could ask his advice about women."

"I'm not that desperate. Yet."


	17. The Interview

**The Interview**

_Welcome to the fifth in a series of articles about L.A. Tempo's list of Most Eligible Bachelors. This month we take a closer look at Josef Kostan, chief executive officer and chief financial officer of Kostan Industries. Since making our list several months ago we understand that Kostan, while still single and definitely eligible, is no longer available due to a recent relationship. We weren't able to speak with him personally but are happy to have with us Beth Turner, director of corporate relations for Kostan Industries._

_LAT: Before we find out more about Josef Kostan, can you tell us a little about your position. I know many of our readers will remember you as a reporter for BuzzWire._

_BT: I was with BuzzWire for a year then I worked briefly for the D.A.'s office before coming to Kostan Industries._

_LAT: There was some scandal connected with your predecessor?_

_BT: Unfortunately, yes. Kostan Industries contributes to a great many charities. Mr. Kostan deeply regretted that a trusted associate used his position to commit fraud. It speaks to his integrity and compassion that the employee was dismissed immediately and a fund was set up to help the victims of that fraud. Mr. Kostan was able to get Oprah to oversee it._

_LAT: A personal interview with Kostan is extremely rare. Why so secretive?_

_BT: JK thinks of it as preserving a little mystery. He's also very busy. He works hard running Kostan Industries. He recognizes that he is a public figure and is seen socially but he is also a private person. Having a personal life can be difficult. But he isn't paranoid about it. For example, he doesn't even have a personal publicist – that's why you're talking to me._

_LAT: There has been some mystery about basic information like his date of birth._

_BT: That always seems to come up. I understand there was a transposition of numbers in some official document, or a 3 became an 8, something like that. You can imagine the bureaucratic nightmare of getting it corrected everywhere, and it's worse because he wasn't born in California. He finally gave up and just accepts the confusion._

_LAT: So where was he born and in what year?_

_BT: (Laughing) I haven't seen his birth certificate!_

_LAT: Describe Josef Kostan. We'll start with a few words from our eligible bachelor list: rich, handsome, successful._

_BT: I would add brilliant, charming, kind, generous employer and loyal friend._

_LAT: He sounds like quite a catch. And we understand he's been caught._

_BT: He is in a serious relationship but I can't give any details._

_LAT: We hear her name is Sandrina and they are living together._

_BT: You have a good source. I don't think JK would mind if I confirm what is already known._

_LAT: What is your relationship with Kostan like?_

_BT: He's my employer and a friend._

_LAT: Anything romantic, before Sandrina?_

_BT: Oh, no. I'm very happy with my boyfriend who is also a friend of his._

_LAT: Beth, thanks for visiting with us today about Josef Kostan, CEO and CFO of Kostan Industries._

_Next month we profile Everett Greenford._

"You didn't have to read it to me," Josef said. "I approved it before publication."

"What about your date of birth?" Mick asked.

"The transposition happened. Ryder hacked a couple of databases and made it happen."

"I can't believe how much of this is actually true," Mick replied. "Except the description of you is missing 'ruthless' and 'conniving'."

"There were already too many compliments so I took them out."

"It is a little embarrassing."

"It's a typical PR piece. No lies, but no real information. Confirm a couple of personal tidbits and people are happy."

"What does Sandrina think?"

"She's conflicted. She thinks eligible bachelor lists are silly, sexist and outdated."

"Agreed. What's the conflict?"

"I made the list and it's in print that she caught me. She's cute when she's giggling like a schoolgirl."

"I like that she's shallow enough to care about it."

"Me, too. Because sometimes when we're at home I catch her looking at me like there's a lot of work to do to bring me up to her standards."

"I'm familiar with that look. I worry if I don't get it from Beth every couple of months. Just remember, you only get that look when they've committed to the relationship."

"You mean when they've committed to changing us."

"They don't want to change us. They make us want to change ourselves."

"I've been pretty much the same for 409 years."

"408. Take a look at yourself over the past year."

Josef was silent, obviously thinking. "Damn. I didn't realize."

"Do you mind?"

"Surprisingly, no."

"That's the real kicker. We change, we don't even know it, and when we find out, we're happy about it anyway."


	18. Garden Party

**Garden Party**

The redesigned garden behind Mick's building was finished and it was delightful. It wasn't a huge area but Sandrina had made the most of the space. There were two built-up berms with trees and taller grasses and bushes that screened most of the area from view when you first saw it. A path meandered throughout with something new hidden around each turn, including a fountain and a couple of alcoves with benches.

Mick had opted for an eight foot steel picket fence. Entrance to the area was from the back of the building so it was as secure as it was possible to be in L.A. without extreme measures.

Beth had planned the party to introduce the other tenants of the building to the new garden. Sandrina was there as the designer, accompanied by Josef. Mick and Beth were playing host. No one knew Mick owned the building. The tenants thought the company that owned it had contacted Beth to arrange the party. Sandrina was giving tours to people who wanted to know the names of plants and flowers.

Travis was there for awhile, chasing stray leaves, but when he turned his attention to the refreshment tables Beth asked Mick to take him back in. Josef went along. In the elevator Travis and Josef growled softly at each other.

"Don't tease Travis," Mick told Josef.

"He started it."

"What are you, eight? He's a cat."

"Are you going to be one of these parents who think their kid is never wrong?"

In the penthouse Josef went to the hidden fridge for blood. Mick tossed a treat to Travis then used a pet roller on his clothes. Josef shook his head at this domesticity. "You're more house-trained than your cat."

Josef sat on the kitchen counter sipping blood. "What are the most interesting places you've ever had sex?"

"If we're comparing, to be fair you shouldn't go back farther than 1940."

"Okay, cable car to Victoria Peak, Hong Kong in 1980."

"Were other people with you?"

"Yes, but they seemed interested in the view outside the cable car. I stood behind her, she was wearing a skirt, and I had on a long coat. We were discreet."

"Top of the Statue of Liberty before I shipped out in 1942."

"That was very patriotic of you. Did the girl take much persuasion?"

"She was supporting the war effort on the home front."

"Burial chamber of the Great Pyramid of Giza in 1989."

"I was stationed in Italy during the war. I met an English nurse at a field hospital and we both got leave and went to Rome to see the sights. We ended up at St. Peter's in Vatican City."

"And?"

"Well, St. Peter's in Vatican City."

"I think I'm shocked."

"I didn't know that was still possible for you."

"You're Catholic."

"I've been lapsed for years."

"But not then. Did you confess it?"

"I didn't have to. When we came out of the Basilica the Pope was praying for peace and blessing the people and forgiving their sins."

"I have to admit you've got a good history. And while human. But in a church, and not just any church!"

"I was 21 and horny and scared of dying. Besides, you did it in a burial chamber. How is that respectful?"

"We're technically dead. Who better than a mummy to understand that a vampire has needs?"

"How did we get on this subject?"

"This countertop reminded me. Remember a few weeks ago we were meeting here and you and Beth were running late getting back from the Valley? You called and told Sandrina and me to go in, have some blood, make ourselves at home."

"That's definitely not what we meant by making yourselves at home. But now I don't feel guilty telling you that Beth and I made use of the couch in your office."

"My designer couch? When?"

"Not long after Beth started working for you. I stopped by, you got called out for a meeting, Beth popped in to say hello."

"Sandrina and I haven't even used the couch. I was saving it for a special occasion."

"Your new office was finished a year ago. I doubt if Beth and I were the first or the last."

"What do you mean?"

"The boss's office is the Holy Grail of sex in the workplace."

"My office is locked when I'm not there."

"Does your assistant have a key?"

"Yes . . ."

"Then the traffic is probably limited to her and three to five of her closest friends."

Josef was absorbing this when Mick's cell phone rang. Beth. Probably wondering what was taking so long.

"Finish your blood and get your asses back down here," Beth hissed. "You're supposed to be mingling." She ended the call before Mick could reply.

"We're busted," Mick told Josef.

On the way down, Josef leaned in a corner of the elevator until he saw Mick smiling. He moved away from the wall. "The elevator?" Josef asked. Mick nodded.

"Should have taken the stairs," Josef grumbled. "Unless . . .?"

"Afraid so."

"Not long ago you called me a pervert for being fixated on sex."

"A lot of ours happened when Beth and I first got together. It had been a while for me, you know. We've calmed down since then."

"No, you haven't. I'm surprised Beth can make it to work. I know you don't take as many cases as you used to."

"You and Sandrina don't work as much as you used to either. Why should any of us? You have enough money for 10 or 20 lifetimes. I have enough for two or three. We've got the girls. We may as well slow down and enjoy life for awhile. Something will come along and ruin it eventually."

"I'm surprised to hear you say that but it's an excellent attitude. Do you and Beth want the couch? I'll give it to you and get a new one."

"Not necessary. We know where it is if we need it again."


	19. Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting

**Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting**

Mick and Josef didn't usually get together on Sunday evening but when Josef called, Mick agreed to meet him at the club for billiards. Mick and Beth had had an argument the night before. Nothing serious but it was still a little strained and he was glad to have a reason to leave for awhile.

They were pretty evenly matched. Josef had centuries of practice but Mick was a natural and had grown up playing in the pool halls of L.A. Josef liked to point out that playing billiards and shooting pool were not the same but the more Mick won, the less Josef mentioned it.

Tonight Mick did better than he expected and he could tell that Josef was distracted.

"You're off your game," Mick said when they had settled into a private room with snifters of body temperature blood.

"Sandrina and I had a fight."

Mick decided his argument with Beth wasn't worth mentioning. "Still going, or is it over?"

"It's over."

"Why aren't you happier?"

"We don't fight much but when we do I feel like she won and I lost."

"Your feeling is correct. There's no shame in losing in that arena."

"Sandrina says it's not about winning or losing, it's about learning and growing. She knows all that psychiatric crap."

"I think that's from Cosmo. Beth says it, too."

"What do you and Beth do when you fight?"

"You're going to be disappointed. We talk. We either get very loud or really quiet."

"But it's resolved without bloodshed. That's too bad. I think Sandrina expects me to talk, too. The problem is I don't know how to fight with a woman verbally or psychologically. I always got out of a relationship before the fighting started. Sandrina is usually very non-confrontational. How did she get so good at it?"

"Took lessons from Beth, maybe."

"Sandrina listed all these syndromes and complexes that are part of my psyche. I called her a pissy little bitch."

"That's pitiful."

"I know. She considered it a term of endearment. I asked her why she wanted to be with me if there was so much wrong. She said I should be grateful I was screwed up enough to interest her."

"She's good. And she has a point. Embrace your sickness, brother."

"We ended up fighting about how to have a fight."

"What was the original fight about?"

"I'm not sure anymore."

"You haven't said anything about breaking up."

"Of course not. I love her."

"Maybe there's something to this learning and growing idea."

"Whose side are you on?"

"How did the fight end?" Mick asked.

_Mick thought about the argument with Beth. Their occasional disagreements never reached the level of the fights he had with Coraline. With Coraline the fighting had been physical as well as verbal and emotional. The only physical part with Beth was making up later. Making up with Coraline had often been so violent it seemed like an extension of the fight. Which it was in a way since they never resolved anything. Making up with Beth was sweet and sexy and fun and they were very creative about trying new things in new places. Elevator, stairwell, balcony, roof. Wait, we don't make up that much. Some of those were just feeling adventurous. The possibility of public discovery added a thrill._

_Mick wondered what Beth was doing right now . . ._

_Meanwhile, Josef flashed back to the previous morning. There were several freezers around the house and he and Sandrina each went to one instead of sharing the room freezer. A couple of hours later, sleepless, Josef sighed and gave up. He was climbing out of the freezer when Sandrina came in wearing the pure silk kimono he bought for her in Japan a few months before. She slipped it off and let it fall as she crossed the room. Josef lay back in the freezer, moved over, and turned on his side as she climbed in._

_The freezer wasn't built for two but it was big enough if you spooned. She pulled his arm around her and tucked his hand between her breasts. Her breasts weren't large but the nipples were prominent and very sensitive. Well, most women's were. But Josef had been surprised the first time she came, and pretty quickly too, from his mouth and hands on them. He hadn't even used his fangs yet, just lips and tongue and fingers . . ._

_Now he started fooling around and she reached back for him and pretty soon they both exploded. He carried her to their room freezer, threw her on the bed and jumped on her. Later they lay exhausted, holding hands while their bite wounds healed._

_Josef wondered what Sandrina was doing right now . . ._

"How did the fight end?" Mick asked.

"With me on top the last time," Josef replied. "On second thought, I didn't lose after all."

Mick and Josef looked at each other.

"I should probably be getting home . . ." "Maybe we should call it a night . . ."

They spoke at the same time then stopped, thinking the same thing.

Nice to have someone to go home to.


	20. A Little Romance

**A Little Romance**

Mick called Josef. "Beth's car is in the shop so she's driving mine today. Can you give me a ride?"

"Ferrari, Jag, limo . . .?"

"Ferrari is fine."

"I'll be there in 40."

Mick was waiting at the curb with a pet carrier when Josef roared up. "We're going to the vet!? I thought you were on a case."

"Don't whine. It's time for Travis' annual shots."

The vet office was busy. There had been an emergency so they were running late with appointments. Mick and Josef settled in a corner. Travis was nervous and meowed occasionally instead of growling at Josef. Mick petted him through the front of the carrier. Josef stuck a finger in to rub his nose and Travis bit it. Josef showed the finger to Mick. "This is the thanks I get for being a cat courier?"

"You want me to kiss it and make it better?"

"Can't risk it. Two guys with a cat? They probably already think we're partners."

"Maybe we're gay and don't know it."

"I'm not sure what you are. I think I'm a metrosexual," Josef replied. "I've been wondering, what romantic things have you done for Beth?"

"I take our cat to the vet."

"That's actually what made me think of it but it doesn't count. It's helpful but it's an errand."

"What have you done for Sandrina?'

"I went first with interesting places to have sex. It's your turn."

Mick sighed. "I still have an acoustic guitar. I played and sang to her."

"What song?"

"Lennon's 'Woman'."

"Very nice. What about 'The Long and Winding Road'?"

"That was my encore."

"So Beth is a Beatles fan?"

"They never really go out of style and there was a popular surge when she was growing up."

"That Yoko was a strange one."

"You think she broke them up?"

"No. They were breaking up anyway for several reasons. She was one of them."

"That's what I thought. But people like to blame a woman for these things."

"Only two left now," Josef sighed, then brightened. "But Ringo is married to a Bond Girl."

"Barbara Bach – 'The Spy Who Loved Me'."

"Who do you think was the best Bond?"

"No, you don't. We got off the subject. What have you done for Sandrina?"

"Gave her a manicure and pedicure."

"Really? You know how?"

"I observed the freshies. What else have you done?"

"Isn't one example enough?"

"I should have thought of this before – you shaved her legs, didn't you? You've been wanting to shave a woman's legs since Travanti and Hamel on Hill Street Blues. It's practically a fetish with you."

"I didn't want to shave just any woman's legs."

"I admire your restraint in waiting for Beth to grow up. Was it everything you hoped?"

"You know, it really was. Except sex in the bathtub is a little uncomfortable."

"Depends on the size of the tub."

"Yeah, Beth and I don't have a small indoor swimming pool in our bathroom like you. What else have you done for Sandrina?"

I think you were right. One example is enough."

"Oh no, it's not. I gave two."

"I guessed the second one. Bet you can't guess a second one for me."

"I don't have to. I bet Sandrina told Beth. I'll ask her."

Josef sighed. "I read poetry to her."

"I'm impressed. Why didn't you want me to know?"

"I have some history."

"You always have history. About four centuries' worth."

"I mean history with a poet. I knew Emily Dickinson."

"Knew her in the biblical sense, or were you just acquaintances?"

"Biblical sense. They weren't called freshies then but I had her blood."

"Nothing unusual so far."

"She wrote poems about me."

"Is she the one who was fixated on death? That would make sense. What poems?"

"_I cannot live with you_,_ Wild nights_,and_ Because I could not stop for death_."

"I know that one:  
_'Because I could not stop for death  
He kindly stopped for me  
The carriage held but just ourselves  
And immortality.'  
_That does sound like you. But you didn't turn her."

"She didn't want it. She thought true death, not living forever, was the path to eternity."

"Inspiring poetry is nothing to be embarrassed about. Kind of cool, actually."

"Maybe," Josef said. "You want to come over tonight? Sandrina is working late at her greenhouse."

Mick shook his head. "I have an appointment with Beth."

"An appointment? You schedule sex?"

"It's not for sex although that's a definite possibility later."

Josef raised his eyebrows inquiringly and just kept looking at Mick.

"I'm washing her hair tonight."


	21. Confessions

**Confessions**

Sunny afternoon in L.A. Mick and Josef sat outdoors at a small café in the shade of a large umbrella over their table. They wore sunglasses and sipped cold drinks. Two young women strolled along the sidewalk.

"Hookers at ten o'clock," Josef said.

"Isn't that a little judgmental? I can't tell by looking at them."

"I recognize them."

"Objection withdrawn. Would they recognize you?"

"It's been a while – since before Sandrina. On the other hand I am unforgettable."

"Sure, even if they don't remember your face they'll get your name right , 'John'."

There are certain physical attributes and techniques that are memorable."

"Whoa, too much information," Mick said. "Do you think prostitution should be legal?"

"Yes."

"That was a fast positive."

"I've always thought prostitution should be legal."

"It does seem hypocritical that someone can use their brain or sports ability to make money but not their body."

"Exactly. And even the body is okay as long as it's modeling or acting. But if genitals are involved, suddenly it's a crime. Why is screwing worse than thinking for a living?"

"Humans," Mick said, shaking his head. He continued: "How is monogamy working out? Still worried about being faithful?"

"Not so much."

"You only have eyes for Sandrina?"

"Actually, I look a lot. And admire, and fantasize. But I don't want to do the ones I look at. Just makes me want to get home to Sandrina."

"She's the one, huh? You still think about Sarah?"

"Occasionally. I thought she was the one. Now I think it was knowing Sarah that made it possible for me to love Sandrina."

"I sometimes think that about Coraline and Beth. As bad as it was with Coraline, it was part of the journey to Beth."

They continued watching people pass by. "Is girl watching politically incorrect?" Mick asked. "People watching sounds better but it isn't accurate."

"It is for me," Josef replied. "Right now I'm mostly looking at the men."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I don't believe it."

"You don't care about clothes so you don't notice what they're wearing. I do. Time to update the wardrobe." Josef proceeded to instruct Mick about the best and worst suits, shirts, ties and shoes that came into view.

"Let's take the girls on a shopping trip," Josef suggested. "London, Paris, Rome. A month will get us out of L.A. during the hottest part of the summer and we'll come home with fall clothes."

"I wear the same thing pretty much year-round," Mick said.

"I'm aware of that and trying to change it," Josef replied. "Sandrina has been talking about Switzerland. She's a little homesick. We could detour and take a break in the Alps." He couldn't resist teasing Mick about a recent conversation. "And in Rome we can visit St. Peter's in Vatican City."

"Beth already refused to have sex in St. Peter's. She said the Statue of Liberty was fun but she's not desecrating a church."

"You did it in the Statue of Liberty again? Was that while we were in New York . . . for Sarah?"

"You insisted we go out that night. The inside of the Statue is closed now but I bribed a guard to let us have half an hour in the crown. He knew what we were there for. I think he's supplementing his income with private tours."

"So you told Beth about your adventures."

"Did you tell Sandrina about the burial chamber?"

"Well, yes. And the cable car and the Great Wall in China and Red Square in Moscow."

"I didn't know about China and Moscow."

"They were before 1940 so they didn't count when we compared."

"Anyplace else I should know about?" Mick asked.

"Eiffel Tower, the White House . . ."

"You slept in the White House!? The Lincoln Bedroom?"

"It wasn't the Lincoln Bedroom yet – it was the cabinet room. Lincoln was President."

"Were you there with Coraline? I know you met when Lincoln was President."

"Yes," Josef sighed. "You knew we slept together, didn't you?"

"I figured. You knew each other way before Coraline turned me. Still, has everyone slept with my ex?"

"Three of us isn't everyone."

"What do you mean, three?"

"You, me . . . is this a bad time to tell you about Sandrina and Coraline?"

Mick looked stunned.

"Coraline's brother was Sandrina's sire, remember?" Josef went on. "They met a few times after Henri was killed and once they . . . experimented."

Mick just shook his head. "I guess this is what happens when you live a long time. Vampires are like a soap opera. Everyone sleeps with each other eventually."

"You're taking it very well."

"I don't care about Coraline anymore. No reason to be upset."

Josef nodded at a table close by where a couple were sharing chili fries slathered with ketchup. "I know it's not blood but that ketchup is making me hungry."

Mick licked his lips. "Suddenly I'm about to bite my own wrist."

"We have a decision to make. You live closer but my supply is fresher."

"I've been living with Beth longer than you've been living with Sandrina and I have learned about compromise. Let's go to my place for a quick pick-me-up then on to your house for the good stuff."

"Show-off."

"Don't be bitter because you didn't think of it."


	22. The French Connection

**The French Connection**

Mick and Josef sat on the balcony sipping blood. It was their third day in the Alps. All four of them had skied the first two days but Sandrina and Beth went shopping today, leaving the guys on their own.

They were staying at a very pricey resort with a main lodge and several small private chalets for those with the coin to afford them. Which Josef and Mick had.

"I'm surprised you don't own your own chalet," Mick said.

"I'm going to," Josef replied. "It's a surprise for Sandrina. Since she's Swiss, we'll come here more often."

"How many houses do you own?"

"The chalet will make five."

"That's actually less than I expected."

"I didn't count the apartments in various cities."

"But you included the castle, right?"

"Yes."

"I was joking."

"I wasn't."

"You really own a castle?"

"A small one in England. And the Mcmansion in L.A., the lodge in Alaska, a villa in Italy, and soon a chalet."

"You enjoy being a conspicuous consumer, don't you?"

"You can never be too rich or too thin."

"Was it the Duchess of Windsor who said that?"

"That's who I heard it from."

"Directly from her?"

"Of course."

"You didn't have anything to do with the abdication, did you?"

Josef smiled. "Not really."

"Have you met Queen Elizabeth?"

"The second one before she became Queen. The first one died when I was four."

Beth and Sandrina came out on the balcony to model for them. They had been showing up in new outfits and this was the last. When they disappeared inside again, Mick asked, "Why do women try on clothes so much? Not that I'm complaining because they both look great in everything, but they tried it all on when they bought it. Now they're trying on again."

"They're showing us."

"Won't we see it when they actually wear it?"

"They want to gauge our reaction before going public."

"How will that help?"

"Mystery of the feminine mind. After the first couple of centuries you stop asking."

Mick paused. "I've been thinking about Coraline."

"You're not getting obsessed again, are you?"

"No, but we're going to Paris next and Coraline is French and I was wondering . . . do you think she's alive?"

"For now, yes. She's the beloved only daughter of an old family. They won't kill her if they can avoid it. She was punished and is probably still confined. They won't let her go anytime soon."

"What kind of punishment?"

"I'm not sure but I would say mental and emotional rather than physical. Or maybe in addition to physical."

"Doesn't sound good for someone who was already unstable."

"That's the danger. They punished her before for turning you without permission. Then she kidnapped Beth. Now she's being punished for stealing the compound. What will she do next if she gets away? She was always willful and they indulged her. This is very likely her last chance. If they can't control her, they'll have to kill her."

"Maybe I should have gone after her – tried to help. She did save my life in that alley."

"Saint is part of your name; don't make it a career. Coraline knows her family and what they are capable of. She took the risk when she turned you and again when she stole the compound. If she can't learn from her mistakes, she's a danger to her family and the vampire community and she'll have to pay the price. You have no reason to feel guilty. You were human; you couldn't help her. And when I turned you again there were other problems to deal with."

"You're right, of course. But I remember Lance staking her and taking her away."

"Lance is the enforcer for the family. He can be merciless and is pretty much a giant rectal orifice, but he's also fair. I might even say honorable."

"Looking back, he could have been much worse dealing with me. He and his servant jumped down to my balcony from the roof. They didn't even go inside, just waited for me. He asked a few questions. I lied and he called me on it but they left when I wouldn't help. He probably could have killed me then. He did beat me up later – twice – but I was getting into his business. I can't blame him for trying to stop me."

"You're part of the family. They may not like it but they don't blame you. If you stay out of their way, they'll leave you alone."

"Any chance we'll run into them in France?"

"Unlikely. They'll know we're there. We'll be watched but if we don't go looking for them, they'll stay out of sight."

"Do I need to worry about Beth?"

"No. I'm sure they're aware of your relationship but she's not a part of this."

"How do they know?"

"I bet they've kept track of you since they found out Coraline turned you."

"What about Sandrina?"

"She's part of the family, too. I'm sure they've tracked her as well, and know about her and me."

"If they like power and wealth so much, they should approve of you."

"They also value privacy and discretion. I'm too public for their taste. But Sandrina has never caused them any trouble and my lifestyle hasn't exposed the community so we'll be all right."

"But Big Brother is watching. Sounds like if we make one mis-step they'll send Lance."

"Only if it affects the family. If it's dangerous to the community, they'll let local Cleaners deal with it."

"Like we dealt with the Monaghans."

"Exactly."

"Mick glanced at his watch and stood up. "I'm meeting Beth in our bedroom for a private fashion show."

"I thought you were tired of her trying on clothes."

"No clothes this time. She's modeling perfume."

* * *

  
Josef sat alone for a minute and then called out, "Sandy? I've been thinking . . ."


	23. Intermission

**Intermission**

Josef, Sandrina, Mick and Beth at the ballet. It wasn't the guys' favorite thing but the girls loved it and Mick and Josef enjoyed seeing them dressed up. Sandrina had several pairs of antique jeweled opera glasses, also suitable for the ballet, and she had given a pair to Beth. They were using them tonight as accessories. Of course they weren't antique when Sandrina received her first pair as a coming out gift from her parents when she was presented to society at age 18. She had acquired others through the years and kept the collection when she was no longer an antique dealer.

After the first act they went to the lobby to mingle and have a drink. Actually, Sandrina and Beth mingled and Josef and Mick found a quiet corner and drank.

Josef was watching Sandrina and Beth when they were joined by a dark-haired young woman, beautiful but a little severe. "Isn't that Kali, the Cleaner's assistant?"

"And there's Logan looking like a deer in the headlights," Mick replied.

Logan came toward them like a drowning man to a raft. "You guys couldn't get out of this either? That makes me feel better."

Josef was watching Logan approach. "I approve of the tux but its hanging wrong on the left side."

Mick, knowing Logan better, asked, "Are you glad to see us or is that a Game Boy in your pocket?"

Logan patted the pocket. "I can't play it. She actually said 'I forbid you'. If it fit in her purse she would have taken it away from me. But her purse is a dinky little thing that only holds a lipstick."

"We're staying out for the second act. Care to join us?"

Logan shook his head. "Never happen. But she's going to make it up to me later."

"Sexually?"

"God I hope so. It's the only thing that will make up for this, you know?" Logan looked at Kali who was beckoning him. "Gotta go."

"So the manipulation table has finally turned on Logan," Josef observed.

"He had a good run but it couldn't last."

"Poor bastard," Josef said sympathetically.

"It's not like we're here by choice," Mick said. "I'd rather be home with Netflix."

"If you were a movie, what movie would you be?"

"Based on content or title?"

"Title is easier. 'Dying Young' – no, 'Forever Young' is better."

"To Live and Die in L.A."

"I should have seen that coming but still, nice choice."

"Some of the Bond movies are good – 'Die Another Day', 'Live and Let Die'."

"Tomorrow Never Dies."

"You know what Logan said about Kali making it up to him for attending the ballet? Beth does that, too."

"So does Sandrina. She's giving me a massage later."

"I thought you got massages at the club."

"I gave them up. Sandrina is better than those girls and wears even less."

"She must be naked."

"Exactly. What is Beth doing?"

"I don't know – it's a surprise. Last time it was a strip tease to 'You Give Me Fever'."

"I'm getting an image in my mind that probably shouldn't be there."

"Like the image in mine of Sandrina the masseuse. We better think of something else."

"Is it possible that every man here is going to get some later?"

"At least three vampires are. What else has Sandrina done?"

_Josef was remembering a particularly dull evening with Sandrina's colleagues when she still had her psychiatric practice. Josef had been charming and betrayed no hint of boredom. She was grateful. "I owe you."_

_"No, you don't. You go with me to business things."_

_"But they're more interesting. Tonight was deadly. How can I repay you?"_

_"Not necessary."_

_"I feel you deserve something. I was thinking a blowjob."_

_That wasn't part of their sex play every time but often enough for Josef to appreciate the thought. A lot. "It probably would be best to clear the debt now or it will just hang over us."_

_"It's for the good of our relationship," Sandrina agreed._

_"But no fangs this time."_

_"That was an accident, Jo-Jo. And I barely nicked . . ."_

_"I know," Josef said, wincing a little. "Let's not talk about it."_

_Josef was lying on his back with Sandrina curled against him. She moved her leg over his until her knee rested just right. She pressed a little and rubbed and Josef moaned. A few seconds later her hand replaced the knee and Josef wondered how he could be breathless without needing to breathe. A minute after that her mouth joined her hands. He was almost incoherent by then but managed to say "Knee, hand, mouth. This is getting better and better."_

_Sandrina was incoherent for a different reason. "Free upgrade," she mumbled. "For my preferred customer."_

Josef became aware of Mick's hand moving in front of his eyes.

"Are you in there?" Mick asked. "You're smiling."

"Reminiscing."

"Must have been really good to put you in a trance."

"BJ."

"Yeah," Mick nodded. "That would do it."


	24. The Godfather

**The Godfather**

"What?" Josef barked into the phone and then moaned, "Uhhnn . . ."

Mick listened, puzzled, then laughed as he realized what was going on. "Call me when you're finished."

Which they were 10 minutes later. Sandrina collapsed on Josef. "Why would you answer the phone at a time like that?"

"It was a reflex. The phone was ringing and I had a hand free."

"My fault then. I'll make sure both your hands are occupied in the future. Was it Mick?"

"Of course."

"I won't say any more. Whatever grief he gives you will be punishment enough."

Josef finally called Mick back. "You rang?"

"At an inconvenient moment, apparently." Mick sounded as if he hadn't stopped laughing yet. "Why would you answer the phone when you were in the middle of . . . well . . . Sandrina?"

"A momentary lapse in judgment."

"You're usually so on top of things – no pun intended. I'm glad to know sex makes you stupid. Not enough blood to the brain, I suppose."

"I assume you didn't call for a favor since you're having so much fun with this."

"Oops. As a matter of fact, Beth and I are going away for the weekend and we wondered if you would check on Travis. We'll leave instructions."

"Who took care of him when we went to Europe?"

"The Cleaners. But that was a special contract for the month."

Josef sighed. "I'll send one of the freshies."

"Travis would rather have you. I think he's warming up to you."

"It's that catnip spray I've been using."

"Really? What's it called?"

"Are you insane? Of course I'm not ruining my clothes spritzing them with catnip."

"You're a little cranky. Shouldn't you be more relaxed after . . . answering the phone?"

"Shouldn't you be groveling since I'm doing you a favor?"

"So you will look in on Travis?"

"Only because I want you to owe me. 'Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me' . . ."

"I know who you're quoting. I've seen The Godfather."

"I am the godfather."

Mick hadn't thought of it like that before. "You really are the godfather of the vampire community in L.A. Don Kostan. Sounds good. And you like horses so there won't be any unpleasantness."

"Don't you think I can do something more unpleasant than a horse's head in someone's bed? Use your imagination," Josef replied. "Where are you and Beth going?"

"Big Sur. Neither of us has been there for years."

"Tell Beth to take Friday off so you can have a long weekend."

"Thank you, godfather. How can I repay you?"

"I'll spend my weekend thinking of something."

But Josef had something else on his mind that weekend. When Mick stopped by his office Monday, Josef greeted him with: "One of my freshies is pregnant."

Even knowing it was impossible, Mick couldn't help the speculative look he gave Josef.

"Don't look at me like that," Josef protested. "I've been shooting blanks for centuries. And I haven't slept with anyone but Sandrina for nearly a year."

"I know, I know," Mick replied. "It was involuntary. I hear something like that and I immediately wonder how you did it."

"Keep a harem of freshies and sleep around for a few decades and right away I get a bad reputation."

"Who's the mommy and when did she tell you?"

"It's Jackie, and I told her."

"Smelled the hormone surge?"

"Definitely. She thought she had the flu so she wasn't donating for awhile. Friday evening she was back in rotation. Besides the hormones, she was wearing a low-cut top and was, shall we say, more voluptuous than before. I told her to take a test and sent for Tricia instead. The father is Jackie's boyfriend."

"So this was unplanned?"

"Yes, but they're happy about it. She's retiring as a freshie and they're getting married. Sandrina is going to ask Beth to help with a baby shower."

"Her boyfriend didn't mind her being a freshie?"

"Nope. She originally did it to pay for school. The money was good so she continued."

"I wondered about the freshie situation when Sandrina moved in."

"Fortunately, Sandrina is a woman that other women like. Maybe it's the shrink training but it seems natural. When she moved in she brought a few freshies with her. Mine and hers all have the option of donating to one or both of us."

"How much space do you have?"

"Room for 10 and there are eight now. Some don't live in. I had the south wing remodeled so they each have their own bedroom with bath. There's a common area with kitchen, laundry and living room."

"You used to have a lot more than 10, and you were living alone then."

"But they weren't just for me. The girls doubled up when I entertained. Ah, the excessive 80s. You even showed up for a few parties."

"So you're going to need a new freshie."

"I'm already interviewing. Did you know I'm an employer of choice in the freshie world?"

"I should hope so. I'm tempted to move in myself."

"I treat them well and the pay is generous, but it's a short-term gig. Two years is the average. Jackie has been with me nearly four."

"Are you giving her a bonus?"

"I'm starting a college fund for the kid."

"Maybe you could be a godfather for real."

"No. I couldn't see them after the kid is old enough to remember me. I rarely stay in touch with former freshies. No reason to be sentimental because the service they provide is more intimate than usual. I like them all, and it's an enjoyable experience on both sides but ultimately, they are my food."

"Do you miss them when they move on?"

"Some I remember more than others but it's like any other business – employees come and go."

"As the song says, 'Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky'."

"And us, I hope."


	25. Friends and Lovers

**Friends and Lovers**

Josef answered the door in jeans and a tee shirt with damp hair and bare feet. He looked about 20. Sometimes Mick forgot how young Josef was when he was turned. At least it seemed young now. But 400 years ago 25 was half a lifetime.

Josef led the way to his home theater which really was a mini-theater newly remodeled with a dozen reclining seats complete with cup holders. There was a bar at the back with two champagne flutes waiting. Josef got blood from the small refrigerator. Mick placed two cups with covers and straws on the bar.

"What is that?" Josef asked.

"That's what I drink blood from when I'm watching a movie. I brought one for you."

"It's plastic," Josef said with distaste.

"All part of the experience."

"Maybe I should keep empty beer bottles to serve your blood."

"Great idea, but save it for when we're shooting pool. That's a beer bottle activity."

"You'll have to pour it yourself. I'm not putting fresh blood in a Big Gulp."

They settled themselves in center seats. Mick placed his cup in the holder. Josef looked at his glass and then at the cup holder which wasn't designed to balance a champagne flute. He sighed, went to the bar, and transferred his blood to the extra cup.

"What movie did you bring?"

"Underworld."

"I've seen it. It's not bad."

"We don't have to watch the whole thing. I just want to show you a few scenes." Mick was fast-forwarding. "This English actress Sophia Myles plays Erika." He hit play. "Doesn't she look a little like Beth? I imagine that's what Beth will look like with fangs."

"Very cute," Josef agreed. "But if you're so eager to see what Beth looks like as a vampire, just turn her already."

"We're not quite ready. We can be vampires together forever but now is our only chance to enjoy a vampire-human relationship. And it is fun."

"Sometimes I wish I had known Sandrina when she was human," Josef admitted. He caught sight of someone on screen. "Sandrina likes some of Bill Nighy's films."

"So does Beth. 'The Girl in the Café' and 'Gideon's Daughter'."

The movie was still playing as they talked. "You know, this is pretty good," Josef said. "We may as well watch it. But go back to the beginning. I want to see Kate Beckinsale jump off the building."

"All that black leather reminds me of a Cleaner."

"You and the Cleaners. Should I be afraid of what you're doing here in the dark?"

"I'll try to control myself until I get home to Beth."

"There she goes!" Josef was intent. "Now watch when her boots hit the street . . . oh, yeah."

"Maybe I should be afraid of what you're doing. Do you want a cigarette? I didn't know you have a thing for boots."

"I can't help it. Ever since I met Nancy Sinatra when she sang 'These Boots Are Made for Walking'."

"Did you ever . . .?" Mick made a biting expression.

"No, we were barely acquainted. I was only interested in her legs and boots."

"How did I not know this about you?"

"It's nothing to be proud of. I didn't even care about her pulse points."

"What about Kate? Boots only, or . . .?"

"I think she's fang-worthy," Josef said, nodding.

When the movie ended Mick said, "Sunlight kills these vamps but they stayed away from stakes and holy items. How did all that vampire mythology get started?"

"Wishful thinking. We're hard to kill. It usually takes another vampire to get the job done. But humans want us to be easier to identify and kill so they can protect themselves better."

"You think Beth will make a good vampire?"

"She'll be terrific. And she'll take to it better than you. You may not be aware of her ruthless streak."

"You mean when she asked you to kill that photographer?"

"So you know about that."

"She told me awhile ago. It was a secret between you so I never mentioned it but I always wanted to thank you. You saved me."

"Not literally. He would have tried blackmail and you would have had to disappear."

"So you saved my L.A. life."

"I saved my L.A. life. How much fun would I have on my own? If you left, Beth would have gone with you. And I might not have met Sandrina."

"You would have met her eventually."

"Yes, we were probably fated to end up with the female version of each other."

"What do you mean?"

"You haven't noticed Beth is more like me and Sandrina is more like you?"

"Maybe their gender fooled me."

"I'm talking about personality and character, and you know it. And I don't mean every detail is the same."

"I guess there are similar traits."

"You've been a PI for 50 years and Sandrina has been a shrink three times since she was turned. You're a couple of do-gooders. Always wanting to help people, liking humans way more than you should."

"Apparently you find that attractive."

"And you like a little killer instinct."

"So opposites do attract?"

"That's how clichés become clichés – they're true a lot."

"Does this mean we've been sleeping with each other by proxy?"

"Just so you know, I've never called your name in the throes of passion."

"If I ask Sandrina, will I get the same answer?"

"Remember, if I've said 'mmmm' I didn't mean it as the start of 'Mick'."

"Don't tease me like that."

"Oh, shut up."

"I will if you will."

"I mean it."

"Okay."

"I'm not going to say anything else."

"Me, neither."

laughter . . .


	26. Turning Point

**Turning Point**

It was a fairly minor accident but it led to a death-and-life decision for Beth Turner. The other driver was careless for a moment and rolled through a red light. He wasn't hurt and there was little damage to his car. Beth's car was worse and she had a scalp wound that wasn't serious but bled profusely.

Beth was taken to the ER. She called Mick and he met her at the hospital, calm exterior hiding the panic beneath. But Beth recognized the fear in his eyes because she felt it, too. They could lose forever through bad luck – an accident that would kill a human like her.

They didn't talk about it the first day or two. Beth was sore and shaken and this wasn't a decision to make impulsively unless the circumstances were dire. Beth brought it up. Mick had held back, wanting to give her time. And he was suddenly afraid that she might have changed her mind. It wasn't likely but . . .

She hadn't. "We've been dancing around the idea for more than a year. I know how you felt about siring a vampire. If you still feel the same, I'll ask someone else."

"Of course I'll do it," Mick replied. "I want to. Besides, I'm not letting Josef get his fangs into you."

"I was thinking of Sandrina if you were still squeamish."

"Good choice. You wouldn't want Josef to sire you?"

"In an emergency, yes. I love him but Josef as a sire might be a little intense."

"Are you sure you're ready? We had a near-miss but you shouldn't feel pressured."

"I don't want to take the chance. It was going to happen in the next year or two anyway. I could probably wait five years, maybe even ten, but I'm vain enough to not want to be older than you when I'm turned."

"So the question is, when?"

"It could take some time to make arrangements. I have human friends who will notice the difference so I should leave L.A."

"We'll go away until you're sure you can pass as human."

"I don't want you to have to leave. I thought of hiding out nearby."

"Maybe you could move in with Logan," Mick said with fake excitement. "His basement is close and he hides out there, too."

"Ha, ha. I was trying to be unselfish. I don't want you to be uprooted."

"It's time to be uprooted. Except during the war I've always lived in L.A. I was only able to stay this long because I kept a low profile."

"How has Josef managed?"

"He's had three identities in the past 50 years. He's only been this public with the last one."

"What about all his actresses and parties?"

"The actresses were before the media got really intrusive. And the parties were vampire community only. Josef isn't as reckless as he seems. In fact, we should ask him how to handle this."

Josef wasn't surprised by their announcement. He analyzed the situation quickly. "Beth should be out of the country for at least a year. If she's in the States or even Mexico or Canada, it's too easy to keep in touch. Her friends might find a reason to visit. If she's on another continent, they'll think twice."

Mick and Beth spoke Spanish well. Beth had taken French in high school and college and was still fluent. Mick had kept up with the Italian he learned during the war, where he also picked up some French and German.

"Spain is the obvious choice but I don't have many contacts there," Josef said. "Italy would be best. You can live in the villa. It's near the mountains so it's isolated and cool. It's close to Switzerland so you can also use the chalet. Besides Italian, they speak some French and German so you can practice languages while Beth gets used to being a vampire."

"What will we do about jobs?" Beth asked.

"We won't work." Mick replied. "We've got 27 million dollars, remember?"

"Twenty-eight million," Josef said.

"It increased again?"

"Beth, will you please review the quarterly reports?" Josef asked with exasperation. "Mick is never going to and I'd like to know that my work is appreciated."

"I read mine – might as well take care of Mick's," Beth replied. "I love them."

Josef grinned and mouthed silently at Mick, "Female version of me."

Mick ignored him. "Maybe our story is that we inherited big bucks so Beth and I are going to travel."

"That would work," Josef agreed. "Polish up the details and Beth can pass it along to her friends. I'm going to need a new PR person." He sighed. "What about the turning? Do you have a date in mind?"

Mick winked at Beth when Josef wasn't looking. "October 31st."

Josef flinched. He shook his head. "No, not that. Getting turned on Halloween is like getting married on Valentine's Day. It's just too . . ."

"He's kidding," Beth spoke up. "It's going to be Friday, October 23rd."

"Big public splash?" Josef asked hopefully.

"Small private ceremony," Beth said firmly.

"How private?"

"You and Sandrina are invited."

Josef looked pleased. "May Sandrina and I host a Sanguination at our house the following evening?"

"What's that?"

Josef looked at Mick. "You didn't tell her about our little rituals?"

"We never discussed details. I didn't have a Sanguination."

"Coraline wanted to but you refused. Not that I blame you."

"Is sanguination actually a word?" Beth asked.

"It should be," Josef replied. "Ex-sanguination is the draining of blood. At a Sanguination, elder vampires welcome a new one with their blood. You get to practice biting. Skillful fang work is very important."

"What do the other vampires get out of it?"

"It's kind of a turn-on."

"Knowing you, I should have seen that coming."

"Did you mean to say that?" Josef asked. "Because 'coming' in this context . . ."

"Mick, please tell me this isn't going to be a blood and sex orgy."

"It's fairly civilized as vampire events go," Mick said. "Josef is making it sound smutty because . . . well, he's Josef."

"How many vampires will be there?" Beth asked.

"Maybe 20," Josef replied. "No strangers. You've met everyone who will be invited."

"Okay," Beth agreed. "It sounds kind of fun."

The weeks passed quickly. The story circulated that Mick had inherited a lot of money. He had never lived lavishly so no one knew that he already had the money. Beth quit working for Kostan Industries. Mick closed down his PI business. Beth's friends gave her a going-away party.

October 23rd arrived. Beth, with her hair up and wearing a dress that left her neck bare, lay propped by pillows. Josef and Sandrina stood on either side of the bed. Mick sat beside her. He bent over her and did what he had done many times before. But this time he drank deeply. He felt her heartbeat slowing and was just drawing back when Josef put a hand on his shoulder in case Mick didn't realize it was time to stop. Mick lifted his wrist to Josef who sliced the vein with one quick stroke of a small sharp knife. Beth's mouth was open and her eyes glazing as Mick's blood slipped down her throat. She swallowed once and was gone . . .

She was back a few minutes later, silvery white eyes open but not quite aware yet. The instinct to feed was there and she sucked at Mick's wrist. She protested when he drew back but he presented his neck instead and she bit.

"Baby's first bite," Josef whispered to Sandrina. "I should be recording this."

"I heard that," Beth said.

"How about baby's first swing at the obnoxious friend of her sire?" Sandrina replied.

"Where's Travis?" Beth asked.

"Her first concern is the cat?" Josef said unbelievingly.

"She's worried about his reaction," Mick replied.

"He liked you after you were turned back," Josef said.

Mick brought Travis in and placed him on the bed. Travis sniffed Beth briefly and rubbed his head against her arm. He jumped down and went to Josef, winding around his legs and purring loudly.

Josef closed his eyes. "This is deeply humiliating."

Sandrina moved forward and offered Beth her wrist. When Beth had finished, Sandrina kissed her and said softly, "Truly sisters, now."

Josef had removed his jacket and pushed up his shirt sleeve. "Saved the best for last."

Beth bit and drank and licked her lips. "1599 was a very good year," she said. "But I prefer something more modern. I think 1922 is my favorite vintage."

Mick smiled. He sat quietly, feeling relieved. He hadn't expected anything to go wrong but there was always that chance and the memory of Josef with Sarah had been in his mind.

"Time for us to leave the two of you alone," Sandrina said.

"You'll need more blood than usual the first few days," Josef said. "All our freshies would like to donate. They'll stop by two at a time. Except tomorrow night. Sanguination at 9:00."

Beth had been part of the vampire community for two years so there was very little shock from the transition. But the first 24 hours of enhanced senses were astonishing.

"Is it like taking Black Crystal?" Mick asked.

"Beyond that. The new and improved version of BC. I have even more sympathy for you being turned without knowing anything about vampires. This could be very disorienting."

The Sanguination was a great success. There were several associates of Josef and Sandrina that Beth had met only a few times. The rest of them she knew well and considered friends – Guillermo, Logan, Kali and the other Cleaners. The Cleaners showed up one by one so a Cleaner crew would always be on duty. This was Saturday night in L.A. after all.

The vampires approached individually, offering their wrists. Josef had explained that an exchange of blood would be a courtesy. Because she was just turned, the vampires would barely taste her so she wouldn't be weakened. Beth wore a sleeveless dress and was still fascinated by the almost instant healing of the bite marks.

Mick and Josef watched from across the room, sipping Scotch. The only blood at this party was shared with Beth.

"You look very proud of yourself," Josef said.

"I'm proud of her," Mick replied.

"You have reason to be." Josef paused. "Have you swapped any bodily fluids besides blood since the turning?"

"Yes."

"How was it?"

"Tremendous."

"Not going to give any details?"

"Words fail me."

"Oh, come on."

"Nope."

"If you give me a hint, I can fill in the blanks myself."

"You won't get it from me."

"Okay, that means Beth will tell Sandrina and Sandrina will tell me."

"That's how it works. We can be men who don't kiss and tell, and still hear the good stuff from the women."


	27. Pillow Talk

**Pillow Talk**

As the last spasm faded Sandrina's hands, clenched in Josef's hair, relaxed. "No more, please."

Josef looked up. "A little while ago it was 'more, Josef, please'."

"That was before you made me come 17 times."

"You flatter me. I think it was 11." He kissed his way up her body and lay beside her.

"Not that I'm complaining," Sandrina said. "But you've been a bit of an overachiever in bed lately."

"You inspire me."

"I wish I could take all the credit but the truth is you're a little bored and sex passes the time."

"I am never bored with you," Josef said indignantly.

"That's what I mean. We're having even more sex than usual so you won't be bored. You miss Mick."

"We talk every week."

"You used to talk or see each other three or four times a week."

Josef was silent for a moment. "We could fly over for Christmas."

"I think we should. I miss Beth, you know."

Josef's personal cell buzzed. He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Yes, you can answer it," Sandrina said. "Afterglow is over, and it's probably Mick."

It was. Mick said hello quietly, almost furtively.

"Why are you whispering?" Josef asked. "Where's Beth?"

"In the garden with Travis. I can see them through the terrace doors. I'm still in bed because I'm too tired to move."

"What's wrong?"

Mick hesitated. "It's embarrassing."

"Good. You have my attention."

"You'll laugh."

"Probably, but you can't know until you tell me."

"Even when she was human Beth was very . . . uh, vigorous. Now she's insatiable."

"Ah, the overactive sex drive of the newly turned vampire. You're a lucky man."

"I'm exhausted. At least you didn't laugh."

"This is too good to laugh alone." Josef caught Sandrina's eye. "I'll wait until I tell Sandrina."

"What am I going to do?" Mick sounded a little desperate. "I am seriously used up."

"You know, there are things you can do that are less demanding for you but very fulfilling for your partner." Josef waggled his eyebrows at Sandrina.

"And I'm happy to do that. But it's not what Beth wants right now."

"Are you drinking fresh blood?"

"We both are. There's a good group of freshies nearby."

"If you have a few favorites, ask them to take some B vitamin and iron supplements. That might help a little. But I suspect the real problem is you're trying to do too much, too often, for too long."

"I can't just lay there; Beth will think she's screwing a corpse."

"Well, technically . . . and she is, too, now." Josef was keeping a straight face with difficulty. Sandrina, hearing the whole conversation, had stuffed a sheet in her mouth to keep from making a sound that Mick might hear. "Listen," Josef went on, "If Beth even notices, she'll probably appreciate being in control."

"She does like to take charge sometimes."

"There you go. Give up the gymnastics for awhile."

Mick sounded calmer. "How are you and Sandrina? Anything happening in L.A.?"

"We're fine but the place is dead without you and Beth, no pun intended. Sandrina and I were talking about visiting at Christmas."

"That would be great. Is it maybe or can I tell Beth it's definite?"

"It's definite. We'll jet over on the 23rd and stay through New Year's. Oh, here's some news – Kali and Logan are getting married."

"How did that happen?"

"My theory is that Kali asked Logan and he was afraid to say no."

"I didn't really think they would last. Is this a good idea?"

"It might be. He complains that she's domineering but he doesn't try to get away. She complains that he cares more for his machines and toys but she hasn't given up on him. They deserve each other."

"Maybe Beth and I can come back for the wedding."

"No hurry – they're having a long engagement."

"How long?"

"Five years. That gives them both some wiggle room. We'll see if they can go the distance."

Mick was suddenly whispering again. "Beth's coming back in."

"Say hello from Sandrina and me. Then lay back and think of L.A. and let Beth do most of the work." Josef ended the call.

Beth was surprised to see Mick still in bed. "You're not up yet? Don't you want to go to the freezer?"

"Uh, Josef called. I just got off the phone. They'll be here for Christmas."

Beth was delighted. "Only two more weeks! I miss them."

Beth had dropped onto the bed beside Mick. He thought he had seen a gleam in her eye when she came in. It was definitely there now. Maybe he should try Josef's advice. "You want to be on top?"

"Oh, Mickey, can we take a break? I need to make plans." She kissed him, letting her fangs just scrape his lower lip. "You and Josef are sex fiends. I talked to Sandrina a few days ago. He's wearing her out lately." She left the room, thinking of the holidays.

Mick stretched and smiled, feeling more rested already. Apparently the eye gleam was for a different reason. He was just glad she had a new interest. He thought about Josef and Sandrina. Sex had always been Josef's outlet to relieve boredom or stress or anything he didn't want to think about. Same thing for Beth. On the other hand, Mick worked out and Sandrina did yoga. If Josef was thinking about the trip, Mick figured Sandrina would be getting some rest, too.

Back in L.A. Josef turned to Sandrina. "He's really worried about holding up his end, so to speak."

"Well, Mick is a worrier. But he doesn't need to be. I talked to Beth a few days ago. She had no complaints. In fact, she's impressed by his stamina."

"Are you impressed by mine?"

"Not anymore. You've exceeded expectations so often I don't know what you can do to top yourself."

"Thanks. I think. Maybe I should deprive you for awhile so you'll appreciate me again."

"If you deprive me, you deprive yourself."

"That's it. I'm shutting you off. You'll be begging for it."

"You can't go a week without sex. I can."

"Want to bet?"

"You'll lose."

"If I win, we have sex in a week. If I lose, we have sex sooner. What's the downside?"


	28. Auld Lang Syne

**Auld Lang Syne**

Mick and Beth heard the car miles away. They had offered to pick up Josef and Sandrina but Josef said they would need a car so they might as well drive themselves. The roar of the engine approaching told them Josef had chosen something expensive and powerful so they weren't surprised when a Pagani Zonda swept into the courtyard. The surprise was Josef stepping from the passenger side. "I lost a bet," he said before Mick or Beth could ask. "Maybe I'll get to drive back."

Beth went to the driver's side to greet Sandrina. Josef looked like he was going for one of those awkward pat-on-the-shoulder half-hugs that men give each other at funerals but Mick came forward with open arms. Full hug and a kiss on either cheek. "Ciao, baby!" he said to Josef.

Josef flicked his fingers at Mick's hair. "You look like a hippie," he said, not without affection. It was true. Mick's hair was almost to his shoulders. Beth loved it long and Mick didn't care so he had let it grow.

Inside, Beth and Sandrina disappeared to find a quiet place to talk. Mick and Josef settled in to catch up since the last phone call. "Remember Jackie, the pregnant ex-freshie?" Josef asked.

"How's she doing?"

"She had an ultra-sound and it's a girl. They're naming her Josephine. They'll call her Josie."

Mick was dumbfounded. "I can't believe it. That is so wrong."

"Relax, it's a coincidence. Jackie's grandfather and her husband's father are both Joseph."

"Okay, good. I do not want to spend eternity with you bragging about a baby named after you."

* * *

The villa was in the foothills of northern Italy and it was cold enough for snow. The next night Beth and Sandrina sipped blood on the back terrace and watched the guys hike to higher ground where the drifts were deeper.

"Are they stripping?" Sandrina asked.

"Naked snow angels," Beth replied. "They did that in Alaska, too."

"Why naked?"

"They like taking their clothes off. You know something I noticed when Mick and I got together? No shrinkage in the cold. I wondered if it was just Mick but then we went skinny dipping with Josef and Simone and it was the same for Josef. Makes sense since vampires like the cold."

"They look good out there. Are they putting on a show for us?"

"Definitely. The exhibitionists."

"Maybe we should join them."

"Before they get dressed again."

* * *

They weren't planning to socialize. There weren't any close neighbors and Josef hadn't spent enough time at the villa to know anyone well in the area. Mick and Beth had only been there a couple of months. It was relaxing with just the four of them.

On Christmas night Beth asked something she had been thinking of: "Was Jesus a vampire? Because rising from the dead and 'my body and blood' for communion is taking on a whole new meaning."

"Wrong holiday," Josef replied. "Let's save that for Easter. This is the birth of Christ. I've always had problems with the Virgin Mary and the Immaculate Conception."

"He only wants to talk about religion if sex is involved," Mick said.

* * *

A couple of the freshies made extra money as housekeepers. Josef sprawled on the sofa looking through a cookbook one of them had left. "Did you try a 'Better than Sex' cake when you were human?" he asked Mick.

"No, and I don't believe it anyway."

"Must be false advertising." Josef called out for Beth. "Have you had 'Better than Sex' cake?" he asked.

"A couple of times."

"And was it?"

"Depends on your partner. There was a guy in college – I'd rather have the cake."

"To put it in baking terms, how does Mick measure up?"

"Well, I recall that cake is moist and chocolaty and delicious. But I haven't had it since Mick and I got together and I never missed it."

"Do you miss eating?" Mick asked.

"No, you said my taste would change and I wouldn't want food. Some smells of cooking or baking bring back memories. But that was true as a human, too."

* * *

Time passed quickly. On New Year's Eve, Mick and Josef disappeared. Beth and Sandrina were moonbathing on the back terrace in bikinis. "Where did they go," Sandrina wondered. "It's been two hours."

"Can't be far," Beth replied. "They didn't drive."

Just then they heard singing. Mick and Josef came through the trees, stumbling and laughing. They were harmonizing nicely but the words slurred a little. _". . . until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard_." They went inside and the singing continued.

"They're drunk," Beth said. "I've never seen either of them drunk."

"It isn't easy for a vampire to get drunk," Sandrina explained. "Blood and alcohol mixed together won't do it. The alcohol has to already be absorbed into the blood."

"That explains where they were. The freshies are having a party. The guys showed up and tapped high blood alcohol veins."

"It's because we're going back the day after tomorrow."

"It's my fault. We had to leave because I was turned."

"There's no blame. And we're all happy you were turned. Being apart isn't necessary anyway. I'll take care of it."

"What do you mean?"

"A week or so after we get back I'll mention how wonderful it was to see you and wouldn't it be nice if we were all together again. Josef will think about that for awhile and then start talking about how he can run his business from anywhere. Within a month we'll be calling to tell you we'll be in Italy by summer."

"Is it really that easy?"

"Of course. It will take a few months to close down in L.A. but it's time to leave anyway."

"Mick and I have been looking at a villa for sale a few miles away."

"There's plenty of room here."

"It's fine for 10 days at Christmas but long-term we would all want our privacy."

"It would be fun to visit each other."

"This is an example of women getting things done because we communicate. What do men do, sit around and grunt at each other?"

"It's been my experience as a psychiatrist that male communication is often unspoken."

"I believe that. Mick and Josef have been friends for 50 years and I know they love each other but I can't imagine them talking like we do."

They had been listening with one ear to the singing which consisted of every song Mick and Josef knew about L.A. or California. 'Hotel California' was just ending

"Maybe moving here isn't such a good idea," Beth said. It sounds like they want to be in L.A."

"I don't think so. They like L.A. but what they really miss is hanging out together and they can do that anywhere."

"I can guess what's next," Beth said. "The Mamas . . ."

"and the Papas," Sandrina finished. "Wait for it . . ."

_"I'd be safe and warm, if I was in L.A. California dreamin' on such a winter's day . . ."_

* * *

A/N: This chapter was difficult to write and still feels disjointed. I spent more time on it than usual and couldn't get it to flow better but I decided to post it anyway. Recently I've felt this story coming to an end. The last few chapters I brought in Beth and Sandrina so that Mick and Josef wouldn't get repetitive. They seem to have talked about every subject I can think of for them.

It's interesting to see them through the girls' eyes but this story is guy talk and I'm out of ideas. If something new occurs to me, I'll post again but for now I'm marking the story complete. It's not a bad place to stop. The guys will be together again in a few months.

Thanks to everyone for reading and especially those who took the time to review. I appreciate your comments.


End file.
